When Plot Bunnies Attack!
by Ares.Granger
Summary: Collection of oneshots/bunny attacks filled with Harmony. Obviously various disclaimers will be within individual stories but generically speaking, AU, HHr.
1. I Know

**This is a collection of oneshots/plot-bunny attacks. Rating is M to be safe and overarching but I think most of the stories will be T or less. Some of these stories were plot ideas that just never took off for me, but they're all complete. I always imagine rabid plot bunnies to be the killer bunny in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Just seems appropriate. **

**Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter nor do I make money from this. These are just the products of an overactive imagination written down for fun and amusement.**

* * *

**A/N- This one takes place in the summer after fifth year. **

* * *

Most people had an image in their head of Harry Potter. Reckless adventurer, brave warrior, Boy-Who-Lived, lucky git…Hermione was fairly certain that none of them were the image she was now witnessing. Harry Potter in Batman boxers making popcorn using his 'secret recipe' seasoning mix nicked from her mother's spice rack jars. It was a sight she liked. "Harry I want to start the movie sometime this millennium."

"Very funny," he rolled his eyes, "it's almost done. I'm glad you stayed in England instead of going abroad with your parents."

"I couldn't do that to you. Not after Sirius died. I wonder if the old whiskered wanker knows you're not at the Dursleys anymore."

"Dobby and Winky swear that the wards here are impenetrable," Harry turned his head to look at her, "do you think Dobby would fail me?"

"There's no such thing as too careful Harry."

"I know. But still, our own little loveshack all summer long," he smiled at the thought, "Do your parents really trust us alone?"

Hermione laughed, "I had to show them the contraception charms several times before they trusted that they wouldn't be grandparents ten months from now. They trust us both, Harry."

"Trusting two hormonal teenagers alone," he shook his head, "I will never trust our kids like your parents trust us."

His words had her grinning, "Our kids Harry? Do you know something I don't?"

Harry tossed the popcorn within the bowl to get the seasoning well spread before walking to the living room and sitting it on the table, "I know that after you were hit by that curse and I thought you were dead I felt hollow inside. I know that when we got back to Hogwarts I stayed by your side despite the old fool's attempts to separate us. I know that when you woke up I asked you to be my girlfriend and you said yes." Harry leaned in and kissed her, "And I know that I was over the moon when your parents invited me to spend the summer with you only for them to leave on holiday three days later." He watched her hit play and settled in to get comfortable on the couch, "Maybe this time we can watch the whole film?"

"Ah ah ah, Potter. You were telling me what you know. Keep going."

"I know that the first time we made love and you were in pain I was contemplating walking down to the ocean and drowning myself. I know that I would do anything and everything for you. I know that I love you."

This earned him a searing kiss from his beloved, who was soon straddling him as she was uneager to let the kiss end. "I love you too Harry."

He let her climb off of him, though she still sat against him. Harry wasn't complaining as his arm slid around her. Hermione was wearing his quidditch jersey and if her bare thighs were any indication nothing more than maybe some underwear. "I know that while we're trying to get through your dad's James Bond collection we get distracted and snog or shag instead and we're not very far into it as a result."

"It's hardly my fault you were ogling me during _Goldfinger_."

"And it's not my fault you were stroking me during _You Only Live Twice_," he retorted before leaning in to kiss her, "You look so hot in that jersey."

Hermione smiled and leaned forward to grab the popcorn bowl, "Time to watch _Live and Let Die_." Harry pulled her into his arms as they shifted to get comfortable and settled into watching the movie.

* * *

As the credits rolled Harry felt his eyes droop. With a warm body curled against him sleep sounded really good. Hermione lifted her head, "Come on Harry, it's time for bed."

He nodded sleepily and they let the tape rewind before putting it back in its box and cleaning up the kitchen and living room. Harry pulled her into a hug, "I know that sleeping in a separate bed from you is never going to be possible again after this summer. You're spoiling me."

She pecked him on the cheek, "I feel the same way love."

After their nightly rituals Hermione and Harry slid into bed together, immediately seeking out one another to snuggle. "Really can't sleep alone ever again," Hermione mumbled.

"I know that," he kissed her gently, "so are you wearing anything under that jersey?"

She gave him a saucy smile, "Why don't you find out for yourself?" Harry proceeded to do just that.

* * *

The next morning Hermione woke first. She looked down at Harry's face where it was resting on her stomach. The smile from their activities last night was still on his lips. She gently ran her fingers through his hair, enjoying their closeness. After being injured in the Department of Mysteries she didn't remember much. She remembered Harry finding her and asking her if she was okay. She remembered the tears in his eyes as he thought she was dead. She wanted to comfort him but the pain was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before.

When she woke up in the hospital wing Harry was by her side, holding her hand. When he saw she was awake he'd lit up and immediately tried to apologize for her getting hurt. Hermione had said it wasn't his fault and damn near had to hex him to get him to admit that he didn't fire the curse so he wasn't responsible for her injury. Harry then asked her to be his girlfriend, saying that nearly losing her made him never want to wait or take things for granted again. She'd said yes immediately and they'd shared their first kiss. Harry informed her that it was his first, which had her smiling since it was her first as well.

She remembered Poppy Pomfrey kicking Harry out at one point but he returned that night with his invisibility cloak and a book to read to her. It was a James Bond book she'd bought him for Christmas. He sat and read to her every night until she fell asleep. When she was let out of the hospital wing three days later he refused to let her carry her bookbag, carrying it for her class to class. When it came to Arithmancy and Ancient Runes he walked her to class and then picked her up when it was over. This of course caused rumors to spread but Harry and Hermione said nothing.

When the school year ended she saw the Order threatening the Dursleys as Harry carried her trunk to her parents' car for her. She saw the look in Harry's eyes at the thought of her being so far from him for two months while he was stuck in that hellhole. She'd spoken to her parents, explaining that Harry was her boyfriend and that the Dursleys were not fond of magical people. Her father had then asked Harry what his home life was like. The look on his face was all the answer the Grangers needed. As soon as the Order and others had gone Daniel Granger walked over to the Dursleys and spoke clearly, "My daughter is your nephew's best friend and would like him to stay with us this summer. Harry seems happy to do so. Does he have your permission?" Daniel Granger had played rugby in college and could cut an imposing figure when he wanted to; both Dursleys nodded their agreement and gave written consent that Hermione had written up quickly. They wanted proof if anyone raised a stink.

* * *

She felt movement and looked down to see Harry's head shifting so that he could gaze up at her, "My goddess," he breathed, smiling at her. "You look gorgeous in the morning."

"How did you sleep?"

"Perfectly," he kissed his way up her torso, lingering on her breasts, "What were you thinking about?"

"How we got to be here in this bed together."

"Happy memories then," Harry shifted to be eye level with her, resting on his elbows. "I liked the parts where you chose a new wardrobe for me and your parents took me to the eye doctor to get contacts and new glasses."

"Your new frames are much preferable to those old ones," she nodded. "I love you."

"I love you," he kissed her on the lips, "you know, there is one other thing that I know. I know that I already have the engagement ring picked out and ordered. I know that I'm planning to propose to you before we go back to school."

Hermione pulled him into a deep kiss. When they broke for air she whispered, "I know that I'll say yes when you do." The smile on Harry's face grew before he pulled her to him. Celebrating a pre-engagement worked just as well as celebrating an actual engagement. They were happy for that.


	2. All the Way

**A/N- So I was looking through all of my short/unfinished/mostly finished/nearly finished/nowhere near finished stories and I realized a few of them could potentially go further than where I take/plan to take them. If you all think that one story should continue, please tell me via review with the name of the chapter (title of the oneshot) and I'll consider it. **

**Warnings- Attempted rape mentioned with the raping bastard getting what's coming to him. If you like Ron Weasley, you're not going to like this story. Don't flame me about it. I think you could almost make a drinking game out of the number of times I wrote "raping bastard".**

**Oh, and this takes place during the Horcrux Hunt, while they're staying at Grimmauld Place.**

* * *

Harry Potter exited the shower to hear Hermione sobbing softly. Fearful that something had happened to her he slid on his jeans and ran into her bedroom, "Hermione?"

He looked down to see Ron Weasley frozen on the ground with pimples spelling 'rapist' across his forehead and his pants unbuttoned. Seeing a tearful Hermione with her nightgown torn he quickly put two and two together and a rage few had ever seen began to fill him. He sat down on her bed facing her, "Did he…"

"My magic got him off of me before he could," she said, leaning into Harry whose arms immediately wrapped around her, "then I grabbed my wand and just sent hexes and curses at him."

The small smile on her lips as she looked at the petrified Ronald Weasley with 'rapist' on his forehead calmed Harry somewhat. "He said I was his and he could do whatever he wanted. I struggled Harry, I swear I did."

"I know you did," he whispered comfortingly, "my Hermione is a fierce warrior. I know I wouldn't want to go against my Hermione." The way Harry said 'my Hermione' made the young woman relax. Her Harry thought of her as his just as she thought of him as hers.

As Harry held her he suddenly realized something and withdrew from Hermione's hug before rounding on Ron, "YOU BASTARD I BACKED OFF BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU LOVED HER!" The kick that followed came with the cracking of at least one rib. Harry hauled Ron upright and looked at him in the eyes, "Hermione remove the paralysis. I want him to hear every word I say and see his reaction."

She did so but kept her wand on the raping bastard. She would take no chances. Ron opened his mouth to say something and Harry punched him, "Shut up you raping bastard! You told me you loved her! You told me she loved you! But you don't love her do you you whiny jealous ignorant prat? No you just want something that Harry Potter wants! Well Ron looks like you're finally going to get what you deserve," Harry proceeded to punch Ron again, making him drop to the floor. As he tried to get up Hermione approached and a disturbing crunch sounded as she stepped on his genitals. Harry glared at the bastard, "Get out of my house Ron Weasley. You're no longer welcome here."

Hermione knocked Ron unconscious again with her wand before looking at Harry, "Did you mean it Harry? That you…that you want me?"

Still running high on adrenaline Harry just nodded. Hermione smiled and hugged him, "I want you too," she whispered. "I thought you wanted Ginny."

"No way she just wants 'The-Boy-Who-Lived,'" Harry looked at Ron, "Do you think you can obliviate the information about the horcruxes from his mind?"

Hermione nodded and cast the spell. "He now thinks we are away training. The rest is intact."

Harry kicked the bastard a few more times before shoving Ron into a closet and warding the door permanently shut. He'd figure out what to do with the rapist bastard later. When he returned to Hermione's bedroom she was in the shower. He sat on the bed. When she exited the shower eight minutes later Harry stood up, "I can leave if you want, but I wanted to be here for you."

She smiled and moved to him, "Thank you Harry."

"I should have told you how I felt sooner," Harry wrapped his arms around her, "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for Harry," she ran her hand over his cheek, "Ron did it, not you." Harry held onto her for several minutes before he let go so she could get dressed. "Turn around please."

Harry obeyed immediately. When she let him turn around again he pulled her into a hug, "Hermione…I understand if you don't want to do anything anytime soon but I have to tell you…I love you."

"I love you too," Hermione rested her head against his shoulder, "Harry I know how I should feel but I don't feel that way. I don't feel anything but relief that you feel the same as I do." He squeezed tightly, "You and me, together all the way?"

"All the way," Harry nodded. Hermione smiled and kissed his cheek, "How about we get some breakfast?"

"Let me see your hands first. I'd bet you injured them punching the prat's face."

* * *

Healing Harry's hands was easy and the pair went downstairs to see that Kreacher was already serving breakfast, "Kreacher?"

The elf wrung his ear in his hands, "Bad Weezy hurts girl who is nice to Kreacher. Kreacher must help her. Kreacher let her down."

Hermione smiled, "Thank you Kreacher. I was able to stop him."

Kreacher nodded his head and set out the coffee. Hermione nudged Harry who spoke, "Kreacher, do you know what a horcrux is?"

The house elf bobbed his head and Harry sighed in relief. "Do you know anything about who R.A.B. might be Kreacher? I would bet you know of a great many Death Eaters and apparently one of them stole a locket from Voldemort and replaced it with this one," Harry showed the elf the fake locket and Kreacher's eyes watered. "Kreacher?"

"Master Regulus' locket! You found Master Regulus' locket!"

"Kreacher do you know where the real one is?"

"Kreacher hides it from thief Kreacher does," Kreacher said, puffing his chest out proudly. The elf vanished and when he returned it was with a locket that looked identical.

Harry looked at Hermione, "But how do we destroy it?"  
"I don't know, and obviously Kreacher doesn't," Hermione sighed, "we'll have to research that."

"Together all the way," Harry said, kissing her cheek and pulling her into a hug.

"That seems to imply you're going to be researching it with me."

"I do like that look you get on your face when you're researching," he admitted. "But I was referring to this whole thing. It's just going to be the two of us doing it all. I'm not letting that thickheaded rapist git anywhere near either of us again. He can go to hell as far as I'm concerned."

"I like this protective version of you," she kissed him on the lips softly, "but never forget that I can defend myself."

"I'm well aware of that my love. But I've never had a family before so you should expect me to be a little overprotective. I know I shouldn't be but…"

"I mean too much to you," she finished for him. "I really liked it when you punched Ron." Harry smiled in response before pulling out her chair for her. It was the two of them, plus Kreacher, against the world. And they were definitely ready.


	3. His Family

**A/N- The new Pokemon game is AWESOME! Oh, uh, here is another little plot bunny attack. I don't recall what inspired this one. And for those waiting on chapter 4 of Inseparable, I'm on page 4 at present. That should be uploaded after the new year begins. New Year's Eve plans tend to get in the way of writing. **

**And this little oneshot is set after the defeat of Voldemort (though I think that's obvious, I like to make it clear).**

* * *

Harry Potter sat staring at the wall. Like himself, Teddy was now an orphan. But unlike himself, he had people that cared about him. Hermione in particular; well, if Harry was honest, he knew Hermione cared about him too. Hermione was at present changing Teddy's nappy. "Harry can you get me a new onesie? His other one is ruined."

"Sure," Harry got up from his spot on the motel bed and went to the diaper bag, getting out a onesie covered in dragons. He walked over to Hermione and helped her get the wiggling little boy into it.

Once Teddy was in his outfit Hermione picked him up and kissed Harry on the cheek, "Thank you," she said. Harry nodded and walked back to the bed. Hermione sighed and walked Teddy around the small room. Harry's self-imposed exile was starting to get on her nerves but she didn't really know what to do to help him. Remus and Tonks had named Harry and Hermione as godparents and guardians to Teddy should anything happen to them. Hermione had embraced this, but Harry seemed reticent.

* * *

Two hours later Harry woke to see Hermione sleeping on her bed with Teddy on top of her, the little boy nestled against her breasts. She looked happy. He looked at her arm with the scar that said 'Mudblood'. That was his fault. Looking at Teddy was even worse for him. The guilt was overwhelming. It was Harry's fault that Hermione had that scar. It was Harry's fault that Teddy was an orphan. "If you want to leave, leave," he looked at Hermione, surprised. "Harry, Teddy needs two parents that are there for him. I'm there for him but you look at him with so much guilt and shame…that's not healthy for a little boy. You should honor Tonks and Remus by raising their son with love, not feeling guilty about how his parents aren't here. They died so Teddy could have a good future. We have to see that through."

"It's because of me you have that scar."

"No it's because of Bellatrix I have this scar. It's because of Bellatrix and Voldemort that Teddy has no parents. But we can be his parents."

Harry just nodded dejectedly and Hermione sighed and gently lay Teddy on his back on her bed before she moved to straddle Harry, "Hermione?"

"I don't blame you Harry. I have never blamed you." She looked down at him, "I know how you are, though, so I'm going to say this." Harry frowned, confused. Hermione leaned down and whispered into his ear, "I forgive you." When she pulled back she ran her hands down his chest, "I love you Harry. And I forgive you for everything you believe you need forgiveness for."

A weight Harry didn't even know he had on his shoulders suddenly lifted and his eyes watered. Hermione gave him a small smile and leaned down to kiss him lightly on the lips, "Ron was right, Harry. I chose you." He smiled and rolled so that she was underneath him, "Harry?"

"You've always been by my side. Remus wrote me a letter but I didn't want to believe it. He said he wanted me to be happy and you make me happy and that if he could somehow make us a couple from the grave then that's what he'd do."

"Tonks wrote me the same," she pulled him down to her and they shared a searing kiss. When they parted, panting lightly, they both smiled. "Harry we can figure out how to remove my scar. We both think outside of the box."

Harry nodded and kissed her again. It felt good to kiss Hermione. She felt so good against him. He felt his mind drift back to the two of them dancing together after Ron had left on the hunt. They'd fit so well in one another's arms. He'd thought about kissing her then but decided against it. They parted again and Hermione sighed, holding him against her. Harry closed his eyes for a moment before he asked the question he'd been pondering, "Did you ever kiss Ron?"

"Just on the cheek once. How about you and Ginny?"

"She tried but it felt…weird. I tried to keep my distance from her. We never even snogged; not that she didn't try to snog me but she was too aggressive the few times we kissed. And…well her hugs are like her mother's. Possessive, not affectionate. Not like your hugs. I like your hugs."

She smiled and ran her hands over his cheeks. Hermione pulled his head down to her and they kissed again. "I like kissing you," she whispered.

"Me too," Harry leaned in and kissed her again, shifting so that she could wrap her legs around his waist as they enjoyed one another's lips.

* * *

Harry was just about to let his hands explore the willing witch's body when they heard crying. "Perk of being parents now," she sighed, letting go of Harry as he got up to get Teddy. As soon as Teddy saw Harry he smiled and his features changed to look like Harry. "We're going to have our hands full with him."

"Well he is the son of a marauder," Harry smiled, "I guess the next generation of marauding falls to us."

"Does that mean you want to become an animagus?"

Harry looked at her and grinned, nodding eagerly. Hermione laughed and sat up, "I'll make the potion if you buy the ingredients and the books on transforming. Does that sound fair?"

"Very," he leaned in and kissed her only to hear Teddy giggle. They looked down to see him morph into a compilation of Hermione and Harry. "Well our kids would look good at least."

She smiled and went to the bathroom, "Harry we can't stay here forever. Let's go to Grimmauld Place. You know where it is still and we could stay there for a bit before we find a new place to live."

"I guess it'd be better than living in a motel," Harry nodded. "That house is just so damn depressing."

"We could renovate it," Hermione offered, "Kreacher isn't bad, Harry."

"I know," Harry sighed, "Sirius once said the measure of a man is how he treats his inferiors. Sirius never treated Kreacher well."

"Harry, Sirius was in Azkaban for 12 years. I don't think he was mentally all there, not really. That prison changed him. I also think when he looked at you he saw your dad, not you."

Harry nodded. Last year he'd have argued with her. But times had changed and he wasn't the same person he was a year ago. And he had to admit, Hermione's points were solid. "Okay we can go there. I'll call for Kreacher and then go pay the bill, okay?"

Hermione kissed him in answer, "You're a wonderful man, Harry Potter. I just want you all for myself."

"I would expect as much from my girlfriend," he smiled as he said the word girlfriend. It felt right, when it applied to Hermione. "Kreacher!"

"Kreacher comes to see Master, he does," came a voice they were familiar with. Hermione nodded to him and Kreacher bowed. "How can I helps you?"

"Hermione, Teddy and I are going to live in Grimmauld Place. Is it clean enough to do so?"

"I's cleans it already," Kreacher nodded. "Is ready to lives in," he added.

Harry smiled, "Thank you Kreacher. Can you help Hermione pack up our things and then take us all there?"

"I's can takes Mistress and little Master first, then takes youse," Kreacher offered.

"That's fine. I have to go pay for the room and then I'll come back and you can take me." Kreacher nodded and Harry kissed his new girlfriend, "I'll see you soon."


	4. Happily Ever After

**Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter and anything else that isn't mine. However, those characters and wizarding cities not belonging to JKR are mine so...yeah. **

**This story is post-Battle of Hogwarts, mostly canon except for what isn't ;-)**

* * *

Harry gazed down at the little girl in his arms with her mother's eyes and father's hair. She was staring up at him, her face scrunched in concentration. That was clearly inherited from her mother as well. It was surreal, holding his daughter in his arms like this. He looked at the woman responsible. Hermione looked exhausted and all manners of unkempt after being in labor for 27 hours, but to Harry she looked beautiful. "She's perfect, Hermione. Thank you."

The tired 24 year old witch smiled at him and raised her arm toward him. He moved to the bed, sitting on the edge with their daughter. "Harry we did it together. Do I have to explain sex to you again?"

Harry chuckled, "No I think we're both rather accomplished in that field. Still, you put in the greatest effort. You carried her, you delivered her. I couldn't do either of those things."

"You took care of me though you dolt," she kissed his cheek, "you're a fantastic husband. You'll be a wonderful father."

"Dolt?"

"I'm not swearing in front of our daughter."

Harry looked at the little girl, "Well Serena? Can you understand us?" The baby just looked at him and he leaned against his wife, "If she has your intellect and my penchant for trouble we're screwed."

"The understatement of the century," she sighed. Harry smirked and settled against her. "Married, living in Brazil, you a quidditch player on Santa Lazaar's team and me a healer specializing in quidditch injuries…I wouldn't have expected this future six years ago."

"Me neither," Harry admitted, "but I don't regret any of it."

Hermione smiled and rested her head on his shoulder, "I'm so tired."

"Get some rest love, you deserve it," Harry kissed the top of her head, "I'll stay here with you."

"You don't have to Harry…"

"Wrong. You're my wife, my lover, the mother of my child. I am staying right here by your side."

"Have I mentioned I love you?"

"Not since you threatened to chop off my genitals," he smirked.

She blushed and he chuckled, getting up to put Serena down in the bassinet the nurses had brought into their private room. "I'm sorry Harry."

"You were in pain, you get to say whatever you want. I know you wouldn't actually do it," he laid their daughter down and made sure her blankets were secure before sitting down on the bed again and kissing her gently, "You need your rest love."

"You're staying in this bed with me. I can't sleep alone."

"I did ruin you," Harry lay down next to her and slid his arms around her. "I can't sleep alone either though," he admitted. "Sleep well my love."

"You too," she sighed, snuggling him as she fell asleep. Exhausted from the last 28 hours with no sleep, Harry joined her quickly.

* * *

Harry knew that he couldn't stop the word of the birth of Serena Ariadne Granger-Potter from getting back to England. He didn't particularly care to anyway. He and Hermione had left England after the Final Battle, physically and emotionally exhausted. They just couldn't deal with Ginny, who was such a fangirl it nearly bordered stalker behavior, and Ron, who seemed to think that if he wanted Hermione he got to have her, anymore. Harry felt it was either leave or he'd find himself killing Ron, who would not leave Hermione alone.

Once in Brazil they'd had physicals to ascertain the damage they needed to recover from from their hunt for the horcruxes. The healers had found traces of love potions in their bodies and were able to determine who they were keyed to. Harry couldn't think of a time he was more furious. Brazil's ministry of magic had thusly offered asylum to them and the two had accepted immediately.

After a cleanse of their bodies to remove any lingering effects and then nourishment potions to build them back up Harry and Hermione had gone their separate ways, sort of. Hermione decided to apprentice a master Healer and her apprenticeship included lodging provided by her master. Harry had hit it off with the Minister of Magic's son, Diego, and tried out for the quidditch team he played for. Harry's seeker skills were still strong and to his delight Hermione never missed a single match. For Harry it was refreshing to be famous for a different reason but more importantly, it felt good having Hermione there to cheer for him.

* * *

It had been just over a year since their arrival in Brazil when Diego asked Harry if he'd mind if Diego asked Hermione out. Harry had found himself speechless, then rather angry at the thought of Hermione being with anyone other than him. The next day Harry had gone to the clinic Hermione was apprenticing at and asked her out on a date. She'd given him a radiant smile as she said yes, leaving Harry feeling as though he was walking on cloud nine.

Eight months from their first date the couple moved in together, much to Diego's smirk. When Hermione received her mastery in Healing four years after they first arrived in Brazil Harry proposed. They married seven months later.

It was after their honeymoon, spent in Chile, that they'd found a copy of the Daily Prophet from Hermione's former master's trip to Europe. It was an article featuring the two of them with more love potion rumors similar to the ones in their fourth year at Hogwarts. They had talked about it and agreed that they didn't care. They were happy, they were in love, and they never planned to return to England.

* * *

He gazed at Hermione rocking their three month old daughter to sleep. "I don't think I could be much happier than this," he said softly.

Hermione looked up at him, "I'll be in in a minute. She's almost asleep."

"I'm in no hurry," he walked over and kissed her gently, "I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled at him and stood from the rocking chair, laying Serena in her crib before crossing to the doorway where Harry had returned to. "Put up the wards."

As soon as he was finished Hermione led him into their bedroom. Harry finally recognized the nightgown she had on under her dressing gown. It was short, silk, dark red, and highlighted her body. It was one of his favorites and he smiled at the realization that Hermione was no doubt planning an evening for the two of them. Whereas many of his teammates, male or female, let their romance slide after having kids Harry and Hermione seemed to be closer than ever.

"What are you thinking about, my love?" Hermione asked as she slid out of the robe.

He slid out of his t-shirt, leaving him in his boxers, and pulled Hermione to him, "How everyone we know with kids has less romance in their lives and we seemingly have more since Serena came."

She slid her arms around his neck, "That's true, I suppose. But we've been through war together, Harry. Our bond is so much tighter than anyone else's. We know what it's like to almost lose one another. We might have taken a bit to get together, what with the love potions and all, but that's just another reason why we're so close to one another. And honestly I rather enjoy the sex."

Harry grinned and pulled her flush against him, "That makes two of us," he dipped his head and caught her mouth, Hermione's arms tightening around his neck as they kissed.

When they parted for breath she spoke, "Harry that's a horrible line."

A blushing Harry responded, "I've never been particularly good with words. I had to rehearse that proposal like thirty times in front of the mirror."

"I would have said yes no matter what."

"I knew that but you know me…I want you to have the best."

She smiled and pulled him into a hug, "Harry, I did get the best. I got you. I know you don't think so, sir, but you're quite the catch." He blushed and she kissed him softly before adding, "and if you don't believe me tell me what you're doing at the end of the quidditch season."

"Retiring to spend as much time as I can with my family," he answered, confused.

"And can you think of a single boy in Hogwarts who would do that after having such a successful quidditch career at the mere age of twenty four?"

Harry's eyes shifted back and forth as he thought about it. "No," he finally answered.

Hermione ran her hands over his chest, "That's why you're a perfect husband and father. Don't ever think otherwise, love."

* * *

A sated and sleepy Harry snuggled into his wife. "For the record you're a perfect wife and mother," he mumbled, "but you'll always be the very best friend I have and will ever have."

Hermione smiled and kissed him gently, "That's incredibly sweet, love, but you're not getting out of first wakeup with Serena."

"Thought I'd give it a shot," he chuckled.

"Better luck next time." Hermione kissed his cheek, "Good night handsome."

"Good night gorgeous."


	5. Pythonesque

**A/N- I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but I'm afraid my walk has become rather sillier recently. **

**Well as the title indicates, this one has some Monty Python going on. Crunchy Frog is the sketch that had me writing this. This story takes place in third year around the first Hogsmeade trip. **

**Remember- No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!**

* * *

Hermione Granger was a Muggleborn. And not just a Muggleborn, but a Muggleborn whose father was a Monty Python fan. So as she looked at the Cockroach Clusters she put a few in a bag. "Harry's not going to want those."

"Yes he is," Hermione responded to Ron. "I know Harry, and he will definitely want these." Finally realizing what the Chocolate Frogs symbolized she bought him a case of those before going hunting for some other things. She picked up some Acid Pops as well. Ron said she was crazy but Hermione just smiled. Of course Ron didn't get it.

* * *

Back at Hogwarts Hermione took Harry aside, "I really, really hope you get the importance of this find, Harry."

Harry looked at the chocolate things she showed him, "What are they?"

"Cockroach Clusters," she answered.

Harry looked at Hermione, then at the candy, then back at Hermione, "Are you having me on?"

"No I'm not," she promised.

"But that's a Monty Python skit."

"I know."

"Well what else did you get?"

"Chocolate frogs," she handed him the box full of them. Harry's eyes widened at the implications and she continued, "Remember Spring Surprise?"

"Yeah, steel bolt through your cheeks. Why?"

"Acid Pops burn a hole in your tongue."

Harry suddenly burst out in laughter, Hermione joining him. "That's…that's…but how is that possible?"

"Don't know, but it's bloody hilarious. I know you won't eat the Clusters or the Acid Pops but they were too funny not to get."

"I'll pay you back for them or I could pay you half the cost."

"Half is fine," she kissed his cheek, "Ron was telling me you'd hate them and that I'm crazy for getting them for you."

"But it's Monty Python! How can magicals not have heard of Monty Python?"

"Harry they don't even know what a telephone is or the post office."

He frowned and nodded, "Yeah that's true. I'm glad your mum and dad let me visit. And I'm especially glad they showed me all those Monty Python sketches and films."

"Daddy is a pretty big fan. I like it too though."

Harry pulled her from the edge of the chair into his lap, "Thank you for thinking of me even though I couldn't go."

"Why wouldn't I think of my boyfriend?" The grin on his face spoke for itself, "Harry I know you want to protect me from people being rude but I don't see a reason to hide it. And I still stand by you needing to switch to Arithmancy or Ancient Runes. Runes are really useful and they're both very interesting. Divination isn't."

He nodded, "Okay Hermione, show me the books and I'll make up my own mind."

"If you do decide to do it we'd have some alone time together," she whispered into his ear, "we could study together."

Harry's eyes glazed over somewhat at the thought of just what kind of 'studying' they could get up to. He blamed his teenage hormones for that. Slowly he licked his lips, "Well I think I'll have to give it a serious think."

Hermione gave him a brilliant smile and he savored the moment. "We need to make sure we keep some Cockroach Clusters for my dad. He'll love the idea that they're real. We might even get him to eat one."

"Okay but we're getting him chocolate frogs too," Harry said. "To offset the nastiness and make sure he doesn't hate me for dating his daughter."

"You know they don't mind that we're dating. In fact, they seemed pretty happy when we told them," she ran her fingers through his hair, "They trust us."

Harry again marveled at how wonderful it was having Hermione as his girlfriend. When she'd called and invited him to spend a few weeks with her family this past summer the Dursleys had leaped at the chance to get him out of the house. Even if it meant that Harry would be happy. So just one week after his return to the Dursleys Hermione and her parents came to pick him up and take him back to their home for the summer. Mrs. Granger had made a remark about how the Dursleys must be financially strapped, being so unable to provide for new clothes or glasses for Harry. Harry still laughed at the memory of the look on Aunt Petunia's face at the remark. Watching her hand over some money to buy Harry new clothes and glasses was equally as satisfying.

The Grangers were a very cool family, in Harry's mind. His visit had begun with a trip to the optometrist and then Hermione and her mother had helped him get a new wardrobe, including a swimsuit. Hermione's dad had taught Harry to swim, which Harry was grateful for. Hermione looked really good in her swimsuit. It was then that he had first thought about something more with Hermione than simply friendship. The two had done their homework together and gone swimming during the day when her parents were at work, then they watched television in the evenings with her parents. Harry had watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail and then, much to Mr. Granger's delight, become a big fan. It turned out he had most of the shows on tape and Harry had a blast watching the sketches.

It was the day before his birthday when he'd finally come to a decision. Imagining Hermione with any other guy made him angry and so he'd quietly asked her if she'd consider possibly going out with him and becoming a couple. Hermione had smiled and given him a gentle kiss on the cheek before saying she'd be happy to be his girlfriend. For Harry it had been the greatest birthday ever. They'd had pizza, cake, and he'd even received presents.

The only awkward moment of the summer was Mr. Granger sitting down and explaining the birds and the bees to him, as well as how exactly he should be treating Hermione. While awkward, both of Hermione's parents had made it clear that they trusted the both of them to make good decisions and that they liked him very much.

* * *

"We should go downstairs for dinner Harry."

"Yes dear," he grinned.

"Smart arse," she playfully whacked him upside the head. "I thought I could go over some of my notes from Arithmancy and Ancient Runes after dinner so that you could learn what they're about. I'm not trying to push this on you Harry but if you wait too long then you can't change courses."

"I understand," he smiled at her, "I really appreciate you caring about me and my education and helping me with this."

"Of course I care Harry," she squeezed his hand. "Time to eat." He smiled and got up, squeezing her hand as they exited the deserted classroom together.

Hermione looked down at their joined hands as they walked down the stairs, "Harry?"

"You're right, there's no reason to hide our relationship. I'm not ashamed and neither are you; nor do we have anything to be ashamed of. I'm proud to be with you, I get to show it off."

She smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you Harry."

They were about to open the door to the Great Hall when Harry deadpanned, "And now for something completely different."


	6. An Unlikely End

**Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or any IP relating to it. Just having some fun here.**

* * *

The defeat of Voldemort reminded Hermione of video games. You struggle through, you overcome difficult quests and prepare yourself for the worst only for the final boss to die from a blow with the power of a butterfly flapping its wings. She was happy for Harry, and relieved it was over, but it was very anticlimactic. The Dark Lord Voldemort died from a brain tumor.

What sickened her was watching all of the girls falling all over The-Boy-Who-Lived. Harry shrugged them off but she could see that they were wearing on him. Now that it was 'safe' all of the girls were falling all over Harry, even Luna. Hermione stayed by his side as the loyal best friend through it all but the fact that Harry didn't want the girls fawning all over him and their utterly pathetic behavior around him made her angry with them.

Harry entered their shared, private common room and plopped down on the sofa, his head landing in her lap as was customary. "I think I want to either be gay or run and hide in a cave."

"Who was it this time?"

"Ginny. I had to give her detention with Filch. Her uniform was so short and tight that I thought the buttons would burst."

Hermione smirked and ran her fingers through his hair, setting her book aside to focus her attentions on Harry. "I'm sorry."

"Oh but it gets better," he said, closing his eyes as her fingers massaged his scalp, "she tried to do this 'seductive' tone that sounded like she'd swallowed several packs of cigarettes." Harry opened his eyes to see Hermione fighting back a chuckle, "Okay in hindsight I suppose it is funny. She was batting her eyelashes and trying to wave her hips from side to side but it wasn't very good. I mean, she's got no arse or hips. How do you wave something you don't have? It looked like she was stumbling down a fashion runway."

Hermione couldn't hold it anymore and burst out laughing. Once she composed herself she spoke, "I'm sorry Harry. The imagery is too much to not laugh at."

"It's okay," he sighed, "I just expect a longer head massage today."

"Harry I don't mean to sound like anything other than your best friend but if you'd find a girl they'd shut up."

"Or hex her into oblivion," he pointed out. "There is a girl I like but I don't want to endanger her. Who knows what the crazy fame-seekers and gold-diggers would do to her."

Hermione nodded. That made sense. Still, "Shouldn't she be the one to decide if she wants to take that risk?"

Harry frowned in thought before responding, "Would you take the risk?"

"If the guy is worth it I would," she said.

Harry sat up and moved to sit on the coffee table so that he was facing her, "Would I be worth it?"

Hermione knew Harry better than anyone, so she could see what he was asking. He wasn't asking the hypothetical she'd first answered. He was, while hoping to keep their friendship intact, asking her to be his girlfriend. Hermione leaned close, "That depends on how good of a kisser you are. Granted we both have limited experience but…" Whatever Hermione was going to say was lost as Harry's lips landed on hers and thought was driven out of her head as instinct and lust took over. Hermione pulled him onto the couch with her as the kiss continued, Harry groaning as their tongues met. It was several minutes before either one remembered that breathing was a requisite and they reluctantly broke contact, gasping for air. Hermione gasped out, "Definitely…worth it." Harry's answer was a goofy grin.

* * *

Being Head Boy and Head Girl had many perks, not the least of which was the two of them living together. Harry found that their private common room was a much preferred alternative to broomclosets as they skipped dinner in the Great Hall (not an uncommon experience for either of them) and instead snogged, snuggled, and talked. "So," Hermione spoke, "we're not keeping our relationship secret, we aren't hiding our affections…" she pulled her head away from Harry, "quit nuzzling me you're too distracting."

"You like it," he pouted, earning him a kiss.

"I do but I want to make sure we've got everything clear. It's hard to focus when we're snogging every few minutes." Harry behaved himself, which was difficult since Hermione was sitting on his lap, and let her continue, "The only question now is what are we defining our relationship as?"

Harry thought about it for a long moment before gently placing her on the sofa and walking into his bedroom. When he emerged a few moments later it was with a small box. "I have the answer to that question. When we were on the hunt for all those horcruxes and I was on a food run I passed a jewelry shop. I saw something that I knew would be perfect for you. I just had to summon the courage to ask you." He pulled her upright and knelt down in front of her, "Hermione will you marry me?"

Hermione stared at him before dropping to her knees and kissing him hard. She pulled away quickly, "Yes Harry. Yes." He opened the box and slid the ring onto her finger before her hands moved to his head and they barely missed the table as they fell to the floor, entwined.

* * *

It was Hermione who pulled away first, "Harry we need to stop."

"Mmm?"

"We're going to wind up shagging on the carpet. I'd rather we were in a bed," she kissed him gently and let her words enter his lust-addled brain.

You could clearly identify when Harry worked out what she'd just said. His eyes lit up and he hurriedly stood, helping her up. "Your room or mine?"

"I don't think it matters," she smiled. Harry grinned and she kissed him again before pulling him to her room. Harry's was almost always messy and Hermione couldn't handle mess. He soon had her pressed against the door, his hands sliding up her jumper. She helped him remove it and groaned as his hands made short work of her tie and blouse. "Get your jumper off."

"Yes dear," he said, pulling back just long enough to remove it. Hermione's hands easily removed his tie and ripped his shirt apart and off. "Eager?"

"Shut up," she said, pushing him to the bed. Harry was grateful his shoes were off already. He landed on his back as Hermione straddled him. He admired her wearing only her bra and skirt. "I'm going to assume you like what you see."

Harry grinned and nodded, leaning up to kiss her, "You're so beautiful Hermione." She smiled and met him for the kiss, Harry pulling her down so that her breasts were against his chest. Harry found the button to her skirt and fumbled with it before finally unfastening it and then sliding the zipper down. Hermione lifted her hips and slid the skirt off before unzipping Harry's pants.

"Off," she commanded. Harry had never obeyed an order so quickly in his life.

* * *

Harry wasn't sure how many orgasms they each had, but he did know that by the time they were collapsed in the bed they were exhausted and incredibly sweaty. Knowing his fiancée wouldn't take his question the wrong way he asked, "Since when do you have sexy underwear?"

Hermione smiled as she stretched, "Since I was stuck with a limited wardrobe and decidedly unsexy underwear while I was lodging with the boy I've been in love with since third year in a tent in the woods."

Harry brushed a stray hair from her face and leaned in to kiss her, "For me it was fifth year that drove it home. When you got hurt I thought my world was going to end. I just couldn't work up the courage to ask you to be my girlfriend. Then there was the whole 'Harry's a horcrux' thing and well…it was on our quest that I decided to ask you. But then came the Potter groupies and…"

"And you thought I wouldn't want to risk the dangers of being your girlfriend," she rested her head against his, "well if you thought those were bad I think being your fiancée is going to be harder."

Harry sighed, "I know but…well at some point I get to make the decisions about my own life. You're amazing, Hermione."

"So are you," she turned his chin so that he would look her in the eye. "Harry I'm more than capable of defending myself."

"Yeah but those girls are greedy and stupid. That's not a good combination." He looked at the clock, "I'm starving, are you?"

"We did have quite the workout," she said, "I could definitely eat. We could order something up."

"Perk of being Head Boy and Head Girl," he smiled. "A very useful perk, actually." Harry was putting his pants back on when he suddenly looked up at her, "Hermione what about contraception?"

"I've been on the contraception potion since before the hunt, Harry. It's safe."

He breathed a sigh of relief, "I want a family, just not this quickly."

She slid on his shirt, which she'd magically repaired easily, and buttoned a few of them before kissing him, "I know Harry. I feel the same."

* * *

The elves brought up some food for them, which they ate quickly. After that Harry caught a glance of the schedule, "We have to go do rounds together."

"Not the end to the night I was hoping for but I suppose I can entice you into my bed throughout the evening."

Harry laughed, "Hermione, love, you don't have to entice me. Just ask and I'll be there."

She rested her head on his shoulder, "We went from best friends to engaged lovers rather quickly."

"Do you regret it? Or have you changed your mind?"

Hermione saw the alarm in his eyes and kissed him soundly, "No I don't and of course not. I'm stating a fact, love."

"I don't know," Harry frowned, "do you think we maybe have known we're in love subconsciously? I mean, you're the only girl I'll let touch me. You're the only girl whose lap I lay my head in. How many boys do you treat like you treat me?"

"None," she said automatically. She smiled, "I see what you're saying. Our relationship just evolved naturally, minus the kissing and shagging of course, and we didn't notice."

Harry nodded, "We were both so worried about how the other one might react if we told them how we felt that we completely overlooked the fact that our physical interactions were decidedly more than friendly."

Hermione glanced at the clock, "We need to get dressed. Separately," she added when she saw Harry move toward her bedroom. He blushed and walked to his own. She couldn't hide the smile though as she went to get dressed.

* * *

Walking through Hogwarts late at night in the winter was not Hermione's idea of a good time, but she and Harry found some ways to warm up in a few empty broomclosets as they made their rounds. Harry would never understand why the couples who snuck out to the broomclosets didn't simply put up notice-me-not charms and silencing wards. He and Hermione simply put up a few and then snogged for a few minutes (or ten). They saw Filch as they went on their rounds, and asked him if he'd checked the Astronomy Tower. His response that only an idiot would be up on the Astronomy Tower in late November had them nodding in agreement but promising to go check it out anyway.

Harry listened at the door to the Astronomy Tower, "I think I hear something."

Hermione cast warming charms on them both before they opened the door and walked onto the top of the tower to see Ronald Weasley and Lavender Brown, nude, and shagging. Hermione was certain she could have lived without ever seeing Ron Weasley's pale freckled arse and she immediately turned her head, looking behind Harry. "H-Hi mate," Ron said to Harry.

"You're a prefect Ron! You know better than to be out this late at night and not to mention the freezing temperatures." Harry shook his head, "Detention for you both. A week's worth."

"It's just shagging," he said, noticing that Hermione was intentionally not looking. His plan to get her attention seemed to be working well. Now Hermione would be all over him.

Hermione sighed, "You're out well past curfew on a tower you're not supposed to be anywhere near and your argument against detention is 'it's just shagging'? You're a special kind of thick, Ron. We could care less that you're shagging anyone. But you'd have been better off shagging in Gryffindor Tower than the top of the Astronomy Tower."

Harry signed the detention slips then Hermione signed them as well before they were sent to Filch and McGonagall. Sure enough within minutes the headmistress and the caretaker had arrived on the scene. Hermione and Harry quickly brought them up to speed and they took over, Harry relieved that they could go back to their rooms now. He needed to scourgify the images of a naked Ron and Lavender shagging from his brain.

* * *

Once in their rooms Hermione withdrew the memory from her mind, leaving in only the pertinent knowledge of Ron and Lavender's detentions and why they were getting it. She'd developed this selective memory removal for Harry's benefit, at first, but she was glad to be able to use it too. Once those memories were safely tucked away in Harry's mokeskin bag the two put on pajamas and finished up their homework. Hermione, of course, was well ahead of her studies. Still, she stayed and helped Harry with his homework before kissing him and taking him into her bedroom. Harry fell asleep with a smile on his face and his hand cupping his fiancée's breast.

The next morning Hermione woke and wondered briefly if yesterday had been a dream. A glance at the diamond on her ring finger had her smiling. It was quite real. She felt Harry's hand squeeze her and she turned to see emerald eyes gazing at her. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he smiled, leaning in to kiss her. Hermione turned to face him and deepened the kiss, Harry moaning when her hand slid inside of his boxers and grasped him. "Hermione…"

"We have time," she said, ducking under the covers. Any protests were stopped when he felt wet heat engulf him. He was silently thanking every deity he could think of that Hermione was so aggressive in the bedroom. It was definitely a good thing.

* * *

They walked down to breakfast together hand-in-hand. Harry had bought her a bag with feather light charms on it when they'd decided to return to Hogwarts for their final year, but he still carried it for her regardless, slung over his shoulder with his own. He sat their bags down at the end closest to the head table and helped her onto the bench, joining her. "How do you feel about eloping to Gretna Green?"

Hermione smiled and looked at him, "Small, private, intimate. Works for me."

"Perfect," he grinned, leaning in to kiss her. "You're the best, Hermione."

"You're not too shabby yourself," she returned the kiss before pouring them each a cup of tea while Harry put pancakes on her plate. Since it was still early most of the students were not yet in the hall. "How about we travel the world after this school year as a kind of extended honeymoon?"

Harry nodded eagerly. That sounded wonderful and delightfully private. He was so tired of being the center of attention. He just wanted to have some privacy. Hermione glanced up to see the beginning of the Potter groupies arriving to breakfast, make-up caked on and school uniforms the wrong length or size. She shook her head. Harry rolled his eyes, "They do put on a ton of makeup don't they? Why do girls do it?"

"Because they're insane," she answered, earning a chuckle from Harry. Harry tilted his head in question and she nodded. He leaned in and kissed her, savoring the feel of her lips on his. When they parted Hermione shifted to sit against him. The shrieks had him rolling his eyes. "Told you they were insane," she muttered.

Harry laughed and slid his arm around her as he took a sip of his tea. "Harry don't worry we'll get you something to fight the love potion she slipped you."

Harry's face darkened as he stood up and turned to face Ginny Weasley. "How dare you question the integrity of Hermione. No one gets to say such disrespectful and slanderous things of my fiancée. You will apologize right now and detention tonight with Filch for your continued failure to abide by the dress code."

"But Harry you know you wouldn't want _her_. She's obviously dosing you."

"Unlike your mother, I don't have to use a love potion to get a boy interested in me. In fact, I had to do nothing other than simply be myself. A fact that you obviously fail to grasp."

The slight against her mother had Ginny drawing her wand, "You take that back!"

"Take what back? It's an open secret that Molly dosed Arthur with a love potion. Maybe he was okay with it, but that doesn't change the fact that it's wrong." Harry stood between Hermione and Ginny, "You put that away right now and apologize for defaming my fiancée or face the wrath of House Potter."

Ginny Weasley wasn't an idiot, but she was so certain that Harry would never choose anyone over her that it clearly meant that Hermione had dosed him with a love potion. "I bet Madame Pomfrey has some potions that can get the love potion out of your system."

Harry sighed and shook his head, "I never thought you were this stupid. Fine then, the House of Potter has been slighted by the House of Weasley and will press charges against House Weasley for the rude, vile, and slanderous statements of Ginevra Molly Weasley."

Hermione pulled Harry back to the bench before he lost his temper, "Harry relax."

"I'm not letting people say such things about you."

"I know that," she rubbed his arm, "Harry calm down." He relaxed as her hand massaged the back of his neck. He took comfort in the fact that Hermione was so good at calming him down when he got angry. Breakfast no longer appealed to him though. Hermione saw this and stood, "Come on I'll try to calm you down."

"You know me so well," he smiled, holding her hand as they exited the Great Hall together.

* * *

Harry was expecting a trip to a broomcloset, or maybe their rooms. Instead she took him up to the hospital wing, "Hermione?"

"You need proof," she said simply. "After Madame Pomfrey declares you potion-free we're going to our rooms and we're shagging."

"Well I don't know about your foreplay but the end result is desirable." She rolled her eyes and kissed him.

Poppy Pomfrey was surprised to see them, then angry. "As if Miss Granger would ever endanger you like that!"

"Thank you for your support, Madame Pomfrey," Hermione smiled, "but we need the report. Harry wants to press charges against Ginny Weasley since she won't apologize. Maybe her family will see that she should or face dire consequences but we want to surprise them with a report of no potions in Harry's system if it goes to trial."

Poppy nodded and sat down with Harry, Hermione sitting on the bed nearest them as she performed diagnostic spells on Harry. Once she had finished she wrote down her findings onto two scrolls, sealing them both and handing them to Harry. "Congratulations on your engagement, the both of you. I hope I don't have to see you in here at all this year though, Mr. Potter."

"We'll try," he smiled, "no guarantees though."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "I'll try to keep him safe Madame Pomfrey."

"Thank you dear," she smiled as they left. She liked them as a couple. The jealousy of others was to be expected but to say that Hermione Granger would ever dose someone with a love potion…that was outrageous. She knew the young woman rather well given how frequently she visited Mr. Potter in the hospital wing. When Harry was injured Hermione was there, and when Hermione had to be in the hospital wing Poppy nearly had to banish Harry from it. He wouldn't leave her side longer than to attend classes; Hermione was the same.

* * *

Harry and Hermione barely made it to their first class in time, their clothes still disheveled from their rushed re-dressing. Hermione refused to blush though, sharing a smug smirk with Harry as they took their seats. Ron was sending them a look of fury but neither of them paid him any attention.

After class the couple walked to the owlery to file the charges with the ministry. "Ron looked like he wanted to kill you," Hermione noted.

"I think he's trying to make you want him by being with other girls. You know, like Ginny tried to do with me?"

"Ahh," she nodded in understanding, "but it didn't work on you, why would it work on me?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't say it made sense, just that they tried it." Harry still shivered remembering how Ginny tried to force him into a relationship last year. He'd ducked when she tried to kiss him and she'd wound up hitting the wall. He remembered laughing with Hermione about it afterwards. She was always so obvious but Harry had only ever seen Ginny as Ron's little sister. Admittedly, Harry only had one focus when it came to girls but Ginny seemed to be looking for the fame and wealth aspects of Harry's life, not the horrible things that he had been forced to go through. Only one person had ever been by his side through everything, and she had graciously accepted his proposal.

"Do you think that the Weasleys will make Ginny apologize?"

"I think either they won't think I'm serious or that they'll think like Ginny, that I've been somehow entranced by you."

Hermione could see those as being options. "I guess I'm being optimistic that they'll just make her apologize."

"We're not revealing our 'evidence' until it goes to court," Harry said. "I want their apology to be sincere, not forced." She nodded in agreement.

* * *

Once Hedwig was sent off Harry and Hermione walked to their next class together. "It's surprisingly not as bad as I'd expect," Harry said.

"You were emanating magic when you faced down Ginny this morning," Hermione explained. "I think they're all afraid of you."

Harry nodded in understanding, "That's why you were so eager to calm me down! I didn't notice that my magic was releasing."

"It was an impressive aura." Hermione smiled, "But I was worried the Great Hall wouldn't exist anymore if I didn't get you out of there."

"Fair concern," Harry said. "I won't let anyone talk about you like that."

She squeezed his hand, "Thank you Harry. But I don't care what they say. We aren't required to live here. We could go anywhere."

"That is tempting," he said, the vision of Hermione sunbathing nude on a beach entering his head. "That's very tempting."

"Harry we don't have time before class so try to control yourself."

"Sorry," he said, shaking his head to clear it. "I vote for a nude beach."

Hermione smiled and shook her head, "You, sir, have a one track mind."

"And whose fault is that?"

"The man who proposed to me," she answered, stopping and pulling on his hand to turn her to face him, leaning in to kiss him. "Not that I'm complaining you understand."

"Of course not," he smirked.

* * *

True to Harry's prediction the Weasleys took Ginny's side. Harry found that hard to swallow. Molly had once said that he was like a son to her, that Hermione was like a daughter. He couldn't see how they could feel that way and yet presume that Hermione must have drugged him if Harry wanted to be with her. Still, it was rather freeing for Harry. His relationship with Ron was already on the outs since Harry and Hermione had gone on the horcrux quest alone. Harry still wasn't sure if Ron was upset that Hermione and Harry had been alone together or that Ron wasn't permitted to get any of the fame of going out to defeat Voldemort.

As Christmas approached Harry found himself debating staying in the castle with Hermione or going to Hermione's parents' old house to celebrate their own, private Christmas. It would be their last Christmas in Hogwarts, which did weigh on his mind. When Hermione pointed out that they'd be completely alone at her parents' home since their memory charms were unalterable his mind was made up. He wanted a Christmas Eve trip to Gretna Green thrown in too. Fortunately Hermione agreed that that sounded perfect and the couple headed back to England together aboard the Hogwarts Express planning their wedding and their Christmas together.

* * *

Once they arrived at Hermione's former family home Harry went to work. While Hermione was getting her room ready for them both he used his wand to decorate the living room; garland, tinsel, and some strategically placed mistletoe were soon decorating the area. Hermione walked down the stairs, "Harry if we're leaving England we should think abou-" she gazed at the warm room, "Harry?"

"It's our first Christmas as a couple. I want to do it right," he walked to the stairs, "do you like it? It's not complete I thought we could put up lights and any decorations your family has packed away." Hermione smiled at him before moving down the last of the stairs and into his arms, kissing him. "So you do like it," he said when they separated.

"It's beautiful. How would you like to go hunting for a Christmas tree?"

Harry nodded, "That sounds brilliant. I guess we could take your parents' car. A tree won't fit on the motorcycle."

Hermione rolled her eyes. She did not like Sirius' motorcycle. She kissed his cheek, "I love you but you are not keeping that thing."

Harry looked at her, surprised. "Why not?"

"Harry I know you liked Sirius but that bike is a deathtrap," sensing he was about to argue she kissed him and continued, "now if you want to get a new motorcycle I won't object. I just don't like Sirius'. Plus his is illegal. Why do you even need a motorcycle that can fly?"

Harry was surprised at her answer. He was expecting her to not want him on a motorcycle period. "I can accept that. Can I ask why you're not opposed to the motorcycle?"

"Any excuse to snuggle with you is welcome to me," she kissed his cheek, "I love you."

"I love you too," he held onto her, savoring the closeness. "Hermione…I think we should get one another some special presents this year."

"Like what?"

"Things that we wouldn't buy for ourselves," he answered. "You can use my account to get me a gift. The money doesn't matter."

She smiled and pulled away, "Harry let's go find a tree. Tomorrow we can go to the bank and then go shopping. Tonight is the tree and groceries."

He nodded in agreement before dragging her under the mistletoe for a snog. "As if we need an excuse to kiss," she mumbled.

"Doesn't hurt," he grinned.

* * *

Picking out a tree was plenty of fun for Harry. He wanted something incredibly tall, the high ceiling of the Granger home inviting height, while Hermione wanted something shorter but full. Eventually they agreed on a tall tree that was very full. They picked up some groceries on the trip home as well as a pizza. Hogwarts did not serve pizza, which found them both missing it throughout the school year. Harry was surprised but pleased that Hermione got beer and a few bottles of wine.

Back at the Granger house Harry unloaded the car while Hermione went to find the boxes of decorations and ornaments for Christmas. By the time he'd finished carrying in the week's worth of groceries Hermione had put two large boxes in the living room, "I've got the tree stand out," she smiled, opening up the grocery bags, "how would you like to play the role of big strong man?"

Harry glanced at her, "That tree is huge. I can't use magic outside to bring it in."

Hermione kissed his cheek, "Fine I'm not marrying you because you're the Hulk anyway," she put her coat back on and they went out to the carport.

Once the tree was inside Hermione cast a quick spell on the pizza to reheat it while Harry put the tree in the stand magically. "I'm so glad we have magic," he said.

"It does have its uses," she pulled out some plates, "I think we should sell the house."

"You sure?"

Hermione paused as she put the pizza on the plates. "Do you think we shouldn't?"

"This house has plenty of happy memories for you. And while we don't know where we'll land I like this neighborhood. It could be an option for us," he said, wrapping his arms around her, "if you really want to sell I won't object. But if you have any doubts know that I'm content to see if a house elf would watch over it for us while we're gone."

"You are a very wonderful man, Harry Potter," she said, leaning back against him, "truthfully I'm torn about selling this house. That's why I didn't last year." He nodded in understanding before moving to get a couple beers out of the fridge. Hermione led him into the dining room, which he'd also taken his wand to earlier. "Harry how much did you decorate?"

"Living room, entryway, dining room," he answered. "Not enough time to do the rest."

"You're a crafty one, Mr. Potter."

"So long as you're willing to touch me even without a thirty-nine and a half foot pole that's just fine by me," Harry took a swig of his beer, "This is so delightfully normal. I love it."

"Here here," Hermione said, leaning up to kiss him, "When is the hearing?"

"The day after tomorrow. It's the last thing before the holiday break for the Wizengamot." Harry sighed, "According to the goblin who serves as my counsel they get to present 'evidence' that they're correct and then we get to rebut their arguments. Tomorrow at the bank the goblin healers are going to do another test just to further stick it to them."

Hermione tilted her head, "Christmas is a week from today. I suppose that gives us enough time to deal with the house. What are you going to do about Grimmauld Place?"

"According to Stonefury, my accounts manager, we could renovate it and then sell it for profit. The goblins and a team of house elves will go through and strip the place clean, putting everything they find in a separate vault for us to go through at our convenience. I don't think I could ever live there. That place holds nothing but bad memories for me."

She reached across the table and squeezed his hand, "We have all the time in the world to make new happy memories."

He smiled, "I think we've already created some pretty amazing ones."

"That was very smooth Harry."

"I can be a skilled orator on occasion," he grinned. "Just don't expect it too often."

* * *

Christmas shopping for Harry proved easy. She knew exactly what to get him. Harry had a tougher time shopping for Hermione, but once he figured it out he felt pretty proud of himself. Their time at the bank was easy, Stonefury even presenting them an option of care for the Granger home while they were away on their honeymoon.

Their quest for horcruxes the previous year had led Harry to discover a few things. First, Hermione was incredible in a fight. Not only could she hold her own but the hexes and curses she responded with were particularly vindictive. Second, when boxed into a corner he struck decisively and powerfully. Third, sleeping on a transfigured bed was incredibly uncomfortable. Thus he was incredibly grateful that they didn't have to enlarge Hermione's bed. It was large enough for two people to fit in comfortably, which was more than he could say for their beds at Hogwarts.

He woke the morning of the hearing with his lover against him and he smiled. Hermione was pressed against him and he gently ran his hand through her hair, not wanting to wake her. "If I ever wake up alone again I'm going to be so disappointed," she sighed.

Harry smiled and leaned in to kiss her, "That makes two of us. Good morning, love."

"Good morning," she stretched and turned to lie on her back, "Nervous?"

"No," he rolled onto his back, "in a way I'm looking forward to it."

* * *

Their arrival at the Ministry was met by a goblin representative who led them inside and down to the courtroom. Harry and Hermione sat at one table, watching the Weasleys enter. They were surprised to see Fred and George sitting behind them instead. Harry looked at them, confused.

"We know you and Hermione are in love," George said.

"And Hermione would never use a love potion. She hates them. I still remember her yelling at us after Romilda Vane tried to slip you one of our products," Fred added.

"Thanks guys," Harry said. "Nice to know someone doesn't think so lowly of Hermione."

The trial began and was rather ridiculous, in Harry's mind. Ginny was testifying about how Hermione obviously had dosed Harry because he wouldn't choose _her_ when Ginny was available. Harry rolled his eyes. Then Ron took the stand and said that Hermione was keeping Harry from other people. Hermione glanced at Harry, who shook his head. Finally it was their turn and the goblin stood, "These egregious, slanderous accusations from supposed friends offend my clients to no end. Miss Granger's ethics are above reproach and she would never use a love potion on a person. However to put these 'jealous bints' to rest, to quote Mr. Potter, we have a sealed scroll from Poppy Pomfrey, the mediwitch at Hogwarts. It confirms that Mr. Potter is not under a love potion." He then pulled out a second scroll, "This one was done by goblin healers this morning to confirm."

The Wizengamot read the scrolls before looking up at the Weasleys, "These scrolls both confirm that Mr. Potter is not under any enchantments or potions."

The goblin continued, "My clients have both been defamed by Miss Weasley's words and actions. They seek compensation for the damages to their characters."

Arthur and Molly both paled at this, while Ginny was agape that Harry wasn't under any outside influence. Ron seemed to have gone from smug to furious. Hermione squeezed Harry's hand and he wrapped an arm around her, holding her close. At first he'd thought an apology would suffice. But as the Weasleys made claims and lied about him and Hermione he realized that he couldn't just accept an apology. He had to make examples of them. Others wouldn't hesitate if they thought that Harry and Hermione were soft targets.

The decision of how much compensation would be given was left to the Wizengamot. Harry didn't care about the amount. He just wanted it to be over with. The Wizengamot ultimately chose to award them the equivalent of two years' worth of Mr. Weasley's salary.

Christmas Eve had them heading off to Gretna Green, where Harry and Hermione got married. They exchanged vows and rings and Harry finally got to kiss his bride. He leaned in and…

* * *

Harry woke and blinked, looking around. The tent. Right, they were trying to defeat Voldemort. He stood and walked to the tent's entrance to see Hermione sitting guard. It was just about dawn outside. "Hermione?"

She looked up, "What is it Harry? Did you have a bad dream?" Harry didn't hesitate. He leaned down and kissed her, his hand sliding into her hair as he held her to him. When Hermione responded to the kiss by opening her mouth and her hand dug into his hair he nearly jumped for joy.

When they parted Harry smiled, "I had an amazing dream. But I figured out how to improve upon it."

"I'm assuming you mean by kissing me?"

"By kissing you sooner," he said. "Come on inside the tent. I'll tell you about it."

Hermione let him pull her up before pulling him to her for another kiss, "You better have more of that on the menu."

"If I have my way I'll have that on the menu forever," he grinned. "Fair warning, I had a sex dream about you."

"I've had several about you," she whispered huskily into his ear. When she pulled away and walked into the tent Harry saw the gleam in her eyes. A gleam he'd seen in his dream when she ordered him to strip or take his pants off. Harry swallowed. Looked like some dreams really did come true. Thank Merlin for that.

* * *

**A/N- This story has been taunting me for several weeks. I had the first four sentences written with no idea where the story was going. Then suddenly 6000 words happened. So Harry had a very realistic dream that jumped through time and experiences. My dreams do that all the time so writing a story and then presenting the twist of it all being a dream appealed to me. **

**Those of you waiting on Inseparable, sorry. No new chapter this week. My muse drug me to this story and a couple others and I can't seem to churn much out for Inseparable. Not that I haven't tried. I write what my muses tell me too and when they tell me too (except when I'm in the shower because electrocution doesn't appeal to me). **


	7. Shower Time

**A/N- This is a little drabble that came to me when I was in the shower yesterday. Takes place on the hunt.**

* * *

Hermione Granger exited the shower to hear yelling. Since the only other people in the tent were her best friends Harry Potter and Ron Weasley she cracked the bathroom door to listen. "You're not using this quest to try and gain favor with Hermione! We're fighting for our lives not for you to try and get in her knickers!" That was definitely Harry's voice.

"Oh sure only _you_ get to play hero! You could have brought Ginny along you know!"

"And find myself drugged while I'm trying to face down Voldemort for the final time? No thanks!" Hermione's eyes narrowed. Harry was given a love potion to be with Ginny? Actually, as she thought about it, his behavior sixth year made more sense when you considered that he was being dosed with a love potion.

"That's how you get people interested! It's what I did with Hermione! Of course the stupid bint is too smart for a love potion but that necklace is charmed! And it would work better too if she wasn't so bloody strong-willed. I'll get that out of her."

Hermione threw the necklace into the wastebasket and cast a spell to banish it. There was a loud smack and Hermione wondered if Harry had punched or slapped Ron. "Get out of here! You, Ginny, the entire Weasley family…disgusting! You're no longer welcome on this quest. Hermione and I need to focus and that means no attempts at dosing us with love potions to become Weasley slaves!"

Not wanting Harry to actually hex Ron, though she could understand why he wanted to since she did too, and wanting to send Ron into his trademark Weasley temper she exited the bathroom and walked downstairs, towel wrapped tightly around her. One look at Harry's face was all she needed to see how angry he was. She walked right over to him and pulled his head in to meet hers, kissing him. The surprise came when Harry's arms slid around her and he kissed her back. She pulled away and smiled at him, "Harry I seem to have missed a few spots in the shower. Do you think you could assist me with that?"

"Happily," he said, his eyes somewhat glazed over.

Ron looked ready to explode. Hermione turned on him, glad that Harry'd held onto her towel for her so she didn't bare all in the living room of the tent. "Ronald Bilius Weasley if you're not out of here in under ten seconds I will turn you into the pig you are and drop you off at a farm in time for the slaughtering."

"I know about the Horcruxes! You can't just kick me out!"

"That won't be a problem," she said, summoning her wand and then casting a spell on him. "He won't remember anything about horcruxes. But he will definitely remember fighting with you, spilling the beans about the love potions and compulsion charms, and you and I kissing."

Harry smiled and turned her back to face him, "I don't know why you kissed me, Hermione, but I'm really glad you did."

"Me too," she smiled, leaning in to kiss him again. "Let's get Ron out of here and then you can help me get those dirty spots clean."

"Might require multiple showers," Harry warned.

"I'm up for the challenge," she smiled, "so long as you are."

"You have no idea," he grinned.


	8. The Best Thing That Could Happen

**A/N- This started out as being the new prologue to 'New Beginnings' but ultimately this would-be prologue became its own story. Every Harmony author has to write about the Hunt. This is my version. It's not exactly new or all that fantastically different than any other retelling of the Hunt with a Harmony angle, so I decided to just leave it here in my Rampant Plot Bunnies collection :-)**

* * *

"The prat is gone," Harry whispered.

"Good riddance I say," Hermione smiled. "Bastard is now going to run off and whine that I chose you though. Queen Molly will no doubt try to make an even stronger love potion to dose us both with. But whatever they try, for me it has always only ever been you."

Harry grinned and walked over to sit next to her on her bed, "It's always only been you for me, too. But after everything with those love potions and compulsion charms I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with any guys."

She shook her head, "I might feel that way about a certain redheaded family, but you have always been my best friend."

"I'm sorry I got so mad at you over a broomstick our third year. You were looking out for my safety and I was a right git. I'm sorry that I didn't ask you to the Yule Ball. That night would have been so amazing if I'd taken you instead of sitting around with my thumbs up my arse." Hermione chuckled at that and Harry continued, "I'm sorry I was so thick I missed seeing how I hurt you by chasing other, lesser girls. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to fight the love potions…"

"Harry that's not your fault," she caressed his cheek, "I love you. I love you and I will forgive you for everything that you think you need forgiveness for."

Harry hugged her, "You have been my first hug, my first true friend, the first person to say they love me…I am a lucky man to have you Hermione Granger and I'm not going to let another moment slip by that we're not a couple."

"This is the part where you kiss me," she teased.

"Hey I'm not that thick!" Harry protested before leaning in to kiss a giggling Hermione.

* * *

The next morning they woke curled up together in Hermione's bed. "I like this."

"The git's departure has proven to be very good for us," Harry smiled. "What if he returns?"

"I wonder if that's the deluminator's purpose," Hermione looked at him, "what if we had a house elf help us?"

"Hermione Granger wants to employ a house elf?"

"You already have Kreacher, let's use him," her eyes lit up, "what if Dobby brought us the Sword of Gryffindor? Oh Harry this quest could be so much easier."

Watching Hermione's brain work never ceased to amuse Harry. She was able to put things together so much faster than anyone else he'd ever met. He kissed her before getting up, "I'm going to the bathroom. Be back in a minute."

His return saw Hermione sitting upright in the bed, "Do you mind if I take a shower and you make breakfast?"

"Not at all. I need that brain thinking about things more important than breakfast." This earned him a kiss as she grabbed some clothes and entered the bathroom. He smiled and walked downstairs, "Kreacher!"

The elf appeared with Regulus' locket around his neck, "Yes Master Harry?"

"Ron Weasley left last night. I want you to go after him and get the deluminator. Hermione suspects it has tracking charms on it for him to find us. We don't want him to find us again. Do you know what a deluminator looks like?"

"Lighter?" Kreacher asked. Harry nodded and Kreacher bowed, "I go and gets it now. Anything else Master Harry?"

"Not at the moment. Don't let Ron see you take it. If you could summon it from him that would be great."

"Yes Master," Kreacher vanished with a crack and Harry walked into the kitchen to make breakfast.

* * *

By the time they were sitting down for breakfast Kreacher appeared with the deluminator. Hermione smiled and kissed Harry before speaking, "Thank you Kreacher. This will make it easier to do without any unexpected appearances from the Weasleys. Can you see if it has tracking charms on it?"

Kreacher waved his hand over it and it glowed blue. "Blue is tracking charms," he explained.

"The manipulative old bastard!" Harry yelled. "He knew that Ron would flake out on us and run crying home to mummy! I'd bet my vault he knew about the potions and the compulsion charms too. Ron as the thing I'd miss most? What a load of shite!"

Kreacher actually looked afraid of his master and Hermione couldn't blame him. Harry's magic was glowing around him as his rage grew. Hermione stood and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him gently on the lips, "I know Harry. And I agree." This seemed to placate him, "We need to make a list of what the horcruxes could be. Kreacher do you know if maybe Bellatrix has one? That bastard gave one to Malfoy I bet he'd give one to Bella."

Harry could see the logic in this and added, "Riddle has the cup of Hufflepuff I bet it's a horcrux."

"I can go looks in her vault."

"You do that, I'll see about getting the sword of Gryffindor. It can destroy them. Don't do anything that could get you killed, Kreacher."

* * *

After eating breakfast Harry called for Dobby and asked him to get the sword of Gryffindor. The elf returned with it just as Kreacher arrived with the cup of Hufflepuff. Harry handed Hermione the sword, "I know you can do it Hermione. I love you," he kissed her and they kissed for a few moments before he commanded the locket to open. Hermione didn't hesitate, she stabbed it to hear the screech as the soul piece died. Harry grinned and kissed her again, "So proud of you," he whispered softly.

"You do the cup," she said, handing him the sword. Harry took it and did just that.

After the destruction of the cup Harry took a shower while Hermione sat with the two elves and made a list of what the other items could be. The only thing she could think of that belonged to Ravenclaw was the lost diadem. Gryffindor only had the sword, Dumbledore had destroyed the ring, Harry had destroyed the diary, and they'd taken care of the cup and the locket. "Four down, three to go. I would imagine the diadem is lost somewhere inside of Hogwarts…" her eyes got wide, "of course! The Room of Requirement in its natural state is full of things that were thought of as lost. Dobby could you and maybe Winky look through the room for Ravenclaw's diadem? It'd be a tiara with sapphires in it."

Dobby nodded eagerly and vanished. She looked at Kreacher, "Any ideas Kreacher?"

"The snake," he said. "The dark lord keeps the snake close."

Hermione tilted her head, "The snake is his familiar and Harry's been able to see through Nagini's eyes…that makes sense! Oh Kreacher you're brilliant!" She hugged the very surprised elf, "That just leaves one."

"Well the last is always the hardest," Harry said as he entered the living room freshly showered. "We should move again today."

"I agree," she said. "We'll pack up the campsite now." Harry nodded and they set about packing everything up with help from Kreacher. With Weasley and 2 horcruxes gone they both felt on top of the world.

* * *

That evening at their new campsite about five miles from Godric's Hollow they went over the book given to her by Dumbledore, "This symbol is very familiar to me," she said.

"Me too," Harry said, frowning in thought.

"Potters is descended from Peverells," Kreacher said.

They both looked at Kreacher, surprised, "The Peverells? And how would you know?"

"A Black married a Potter once. Potters is old family, Blacks were proud and learned about their heritage. Peverells were 3 brothers. Potters is descended from brother with cloak."

"The invisibility cloak!" Hermione grinned, "Kreacher I could kiss you right now."

Harry thought about the symbol on the page before it came to him, "Gaunt! The Gaunt ring! It had that symbol on it!"

"The Deathly Hallows," Hermione whispered, "The ring, the cloak," she looked at Harry, "We have both of those. That leaves the wand."

"Dumbledore was obsessed with the Deathly Hallows," Harry said, standing up and pacing, "he took my father's cloak to prove it was one of them. He took the ring for the same reason," Harry looked up at Hermione, "Wait, Krum said that that was Grindelwald's symbol. Dumbledore defeated Grindelwald. Dumbledore had the wand!"

"The all-powerful wand? We can't let Riddle get it Harry."

"Wizards is buried with their wand," Kreacher said.

Hermione smiled at Kreacher, "How do you boys feel about tomb raiding?"

* * *

So in the dead of night Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, hidden by the cloak, broke into Dumbledore's tomb and took the wand from his grasp, replacing it with a transfigured copy thanks to Hermione's eye for detail. Kreacher helped them arrange for the fake wand to cast a few sparks upon being picked up before they snuck back out, leaving the tomb to appear as though nothing had changed. They returned to their campsite and cheered.

"Draco disarmed Dumbledore. We need to disarm him."

"Or kill him," Harry offered.

"That's an option as well," Hermione admitted. "This is war and we can't feel guilty about killing someone."

"I agree," Harry nodded, "if I'd fired a reducto at Dolohov instead of a stunner the bastard wouldn't have hurt my Hermione."

"He'll get what's coming to him Harry," she promised, running her hand over his back. "Besides, I'm fine."

"I love you."

"I love you too," she kissed his cheek, "we have to be prepared. Constant vigilance." Harry nodded. They couldn't be careless anymore. The cost was too great. He couldn't lose Hermione and she couldn't lose him.

* * *

When they entered Godric's Hollow it was to go to the graveyard. Harry sat at his parents' grave and talked to them, "This is Hermione, my girlfriend and very best friend. I think you'd like her, Mum and Dad. She helped save Sirius. We're going to defeat him, I promise. But I won't do it to save the world. I'm doing it to avenge you both and protect her. Hermione is the most important person in my life and I won't let them harm her."

Hermione said hello to his parents' graves and talked about how wonderful Harry was. They also found the Peverell grave. Harry kept the Elder wand in his waistband as a backup wand. He didn't want to be disarmed with that wand in hand. When they saw Bathilda Bagshot they both agreed with just a glance that something was off. The logic was solid. Voldemort knew, at some point, that Harry would be arriving in Godric's Hollow. It wasn't a secret and not unexpected.

* * *

Upon entering the house the smell was overwhelming. Harry drew his wand on instinct and Hermione followed suit, sealing the home. If the Death Eaters sprung a surprise attack they'd hear them coming. She was ready to call for Kreacher. So long as she and Harry stayed close to one another Kreacher could get them out of there.

When Bagshot became Nagini Harry summoned the sword of Gryffindor and cut off her head. Again the soul piece screeched, but Hermione'd cast a quick spell to silence the room. They quickly cast spells to see who was trying to get into the house, "Malfoy isn't with them. What do we do Harry?"

"Slaughter them all," he answered. "We stand back to back, Hermione."

"I trust you with this," she promised. When the Death Eaters entered they were met by reductos and sectumsempras. Harry and Hermione cast quickly and decisively. There was no hesitation for them. If it was just Harry or just Hermione they might pause, but they would never risk the other's life. Unfortunately for the Death Eaters this fact worked against them. Within minutes they were all dead. Harry and Hermione took all their wands and vanished with Nagini's body.

* * *

Harry tossed the snake to the ground while Hermione tied the wands together in a bundle and dropped them into the mokeskin bag, "What do we do with the snake?"

"We transfigure her into something else so that Voldemort doesn't know she's dead."

"That sounds good," he kissed her, "we need a shower."

"We need new clothes," she added. "Do you think the elves could buy us some?"

"Guess we'll find out," Harry said, "Kreacher!" A loud crack had them turning to smile at Kreacher, "Kreacher would it count as 'giving you clothes' if I asked you to buy some new clothes for the two of us?"

Kreacher shook his head, "No. Is okay. We does laundry too."

"Well in that case can you get into my vault?" Kreacher nodded and Harry continued, "Great. Hermione and I need some new clothes and if you could get them that'd be great."

Kreacher bobbed his head and Harry and Hermione quickly drew up a list of what they needed before sending Kreacher on his way with a small transfigured gold bag. Harry looked at Hermione, "Do you want to take a shower first?"

Hermione nodded and kissed him before walking to the bathroom. Harry stripped out of his clothes and put them in a bag. Burning them felt like the right thing to do. He'd add Hermione's to the bag and they could torch them. He put on a pair of boxers and jeans that were too big for him before Kreacher reappeared. "Here is youse clothes," he said.

"Thanks Kreacher," Harry said. "Two horcruxes left. Hopefully Dobby and Winky find the diadem soon."

"Youse is needing last one."

"We do but we'll figure it out. We figured out the others alot faster than I thought it might take. Without Ron trying to dose us with love potions or casting compulsion charms we're much freer to use our minds," Harry sighed, "I just hope the final is easily destroyed. Although with my luck it'll probably be incredibly hard."

She exited the bathroom and put her clothes in the bag with Harry's while he entered after another kiss, "I love you," she whispered.

Relieved she wasn't in shock he entered the bathroom to clean up. A shower felt like heaven, although Harry would prefer to be in a hot tub with Hermione. When he exited Hermione was sipping a hot chocolate on the couch. "Kreacher made it for me," she answered his unspoken question. "I don't feel guilty for killing them."

"It was them or us," Harry said, sitting down on the sofa behind her and kissing the back of her neck. "I will always put your life above anyone else's."

"A week as a couple and we're already sickeningly sweet," she teased. Harry laughed. "I just don't know what to do next, Harry. We need to destroy the diadem, then we need you to become the master of the elder wand."

Harry nodded and closed his eyes, inhaling the floral-vanilla scent of her hair. "We will do all that."

"Harry let's go burn the clothes and then go to bed."

"Sure," he helped her get up and the couple exited the tent to toss the clothes into the fire that Kreacher had tended. They watched them burn for a long while before they vanished the remains and put the fire out, walking back into the tent together. They slid into some pajamas and Harry stared. Hermione's shorts were _very_ short and her top was surprisingly tight. "I like that outfit."

"I got them before we left," she explained, "I thought you might like them."

"As always you're correct," he grinned.

She rolled her eyes and slid into his bed, "We need a bigger bed Harry."

"No arguments here," his arms wrapped around her, "this is our one week anniversary."

"You sap," she turned and kissed him, "it is. I'm exhausted though."

"Me too," Harry admitted, "it's just from the after-effects of the adrenaline rush from our fight. We'll be fine in the morning." Snuggling further against Harry she closed her eyes and the couple fell into an easy sleep.

* * *

The next morning Hermione woke in Harry's arms and kissed him until he woke, "I've been thinking about the last horcrux," she said softly, "and Harry I don't like the implications."

"What do you mean?"

"Your connection to Riddle. The fact that the wand that chose you is the brother to his wand. The fact that you survived but no one knows what happened that Halloween."

Harry frowned, "He cast the killing curse at me."

"Did he? No one found his wand that night. We know he cast it on your parents, but there doesn't seem to be any proof that you actually were a victim of it. Your own memories are of your mother's death, not him casting the spell at you."

He'd never thought about it like that before. Harry licked his lips, "If I didn't get this scar from the curse then…"

"By all accounts Riddle wanted another horcrux. Seven was his magic number. We know you prepare for the creation of a horcrux before you commit the murder. You were supposed to be that murder. There has never before been a human horcrux. Nagini had some markings on her that were not normal for a snake of her species. But most importantly, horcruxes can supposedly only be destroyed. You were never given any training to defeat Riddle. Dumbledore never prepared you for battle or dueling."

It was with horror that Harry realized that he was the seventh horcrux. Immediately he tried to sit up in bed, "You need to stay away from me."

"No Harry that's not how this works," she shifted to straddle him, "I love you. I won't let him have you and I won't let you die."

"Hermione it's the only way!"

"According to an old man who went out of his way to save people who didn't deserve being saved and letting the Longbottoms and Potters of the world fall victim to the people who 'deserved' redemption!" Hermione cupped his face in her hands and her voice softened, "Harry we will find another way. I promise you. I'm not the smartest witch of her age because I can't think outside the box. Please, Harry," she kissed him and he groaned into her mouth as the kiss deepened. She pushed him onto his back and Hermione smiled as she felt Harry's hands moving over her thighs, "Harry," she gasped, "yes."

He decided to continue with that permission and his hands slid up and under her shirt, enjoying the soft skin of his girlfriend's body. Harry ran his hands over her sides and she groaned into his mouth. Harry pulled away, "Hermione are you sure about this?"

"Harry, are you serious about being in love with me?"

"Extremely."

"So am I," she leaned in to kiss him, "would I rather this was in a big bed and we were away on a tropical island all alone and safe from harm? Absolutely. But just being with you is all that I want."

"What about contraception?"

"It's a couple of charms," she said, picking up her wand and casting them both on herself and Harry before casting a spell to confirm they'd taken effect, "now what's your next reason as to why we shouldn't make love?"

Harry smiled and leaned up to kiss her, "I think I must have suffered from temporary insanity."

"Well that does seem the most likely reason to refuse me given your reaction to me pressing against you." Harry would have had a witty retort but Hermione silenced him by pulling her shirt over her head. Harry's new favorite patronus memory was beginning to form and he was going to commit every touch and sensation to memory.

* * *

Two hours later Harry felt more content and happy than ever before, "That was bloody brilliant."

"Being a bookworm has its perks," she grinned. Harry laughed and kissed her. Hermione got up and looked over her shoulder at him, "Join me in the shower and we can see about doing that again. Your hands do seem to take good care of my body." The goofy grin on Harry's face left her with no doubt she'd be joined in the shower by her lover.

* * *

Over breakfast Harry spoke to her about a thought he'd had, "You know, if Dumbledore was serious then the loving that just took place this morning would have freed me from Voldemort's soul."

"He's an idiot," Hermione said. "He sits back as the puppet master and gives you as little information as he can get away with. I hope your mum is beating him silly in the afterlife."

Harry chuckled at that image before speaking, "I think Dumbledore is partly to blame for Riddle getting powerful and becoming the dark lord. Not in the way he would have expected, either," Harry added. "I mean, he always suspected but he never actually did anything about it. No investigation, no observation, nothing. Only when it was too late did he do anything. And he never told anyone about the crimes Riddle committed even when he knew about it."

"Dumbledore likes the redemption narrative." Hermione tilted her head, "But Dumbledore only believed in the redemption of lost souls at his core. He would open Azkaban and free them all with the promise to never do wrong because, in his version of the narrative, that's what forgiveness requires. He would claim them redeemed when they've done nothing worthy of redemption. He eagerly set you up to sacrifice yourself for his 'greater good' while bastards like Snape and Malfoy got off scot free. Maybe you should have become a dark lord. Then apparently he'd actually have helped you."

"Dark Lord Potter," he said, "No it doesn't sound good."

"You could always make up a name like Riddle did," she suggested with a wink. "Or steal from the greats- 'Dark Lord Scarhead'!"

"It does have a certain ring to it," Harry admitted before both he and Hermione dissolved into laughter.

* * *

They packed up and left again, heading to a forest and setting up camp there. Harry looked at Hermione, "Hey, love?"

"Yes?"

"I thought your first time was supposed to hurt badly but we went three rounds this morning; twice in bed and once in the shower. Were you in pain?"  
"No," she shook her head, "the contraception charm I cast also helps girls who are experiencing their first time. No soreness, no pain, just pleasure."

"Sounds like a wonderful charm," Harry said.

"It is," she kissed him before moving to help Kreacher finish putting the tent together.

* * *

-Two Weeks Later-

Harry looked at his girlfriend as she read up on Dementors. He would have said something but running the risk of Hermione refusing to have sex with him if he interrupted her research again didn't appeal to him. He focused on figuring out how to get into Malfoy Manor, where Draco and company were currently housed. Kreacher unfortunately couldn't just pop inside because they weren't his family. Harry sighed. Kreacher was able to give him the blueprints of the manor, which were useful, but he still had to get there somehow and get inside. "Thanks Kreacher. How about you go try to figure out what's going on with the world? Death Eater attacks, new laws being passed, you get the idea. Just be safe Kreacher."

"I be safes," he promised before vanishing with a crack.

The young man stood and exited the tent, stretching as he walked outside. He let out a breath and gazed around. The forest was beautiful. He wasn't looking forward to winter in the tent though. Maybe he and Hermione could hide elsewhere, like a bed and breakfast. "I know how to save you," Hermione said from behind him.

Harry turned to look at her, "How?"

"You get it sucked out by a Dementor." Hermione wrapped her arms around him as he stared at her dumbfounded. "Harry, let me explain. You know I don't want anything to happen to you. Once you're the master of death, however, you'll be in a unique position. I looked into it and Dementors are basically agents of death; this means that the master of death has control over them. You'll summon one and we'll tell it to suck out Riddle's soul from your scar. Once it's done that you can send it on its way."

In the seven years Harry had known Hermione he'd learned many things about her. She was scared of riding on broomsticks, hated bullying, was utterly brilliant which made her shy from the teasing and bullying she was consequently subjected to, loved Harry, and when given the ability to make a plan could make an excellent one that would stand up to any onslaught. He hugged her back, "I guess this means we really need to get to Malfoy."

"While we work on that how about we figure out what to do about these Muggleborn internment camps? I think we should go on some raids."

"You, me, and three house elves. Against at least 20 death eaters and 20 more ministry employees. I guess Winky and Kreacher could stay home, that might make it a fair fight."

"Our training is going well, isn't it?" Hermione smiled. "We'll decimate them, even without the Elder wand."

"Do you think we should find Draco first?"

"Yes. Never know what the idiot might do to get himself killed and you need to be master of the wand." Harry couldn't fault that logic. He nodded and they decided to just sit for a bit together, enjoying the company of one another. "I love you Harry," she said after a few long moments of silence.

"I love you too," he kissed the top of her head as he held her, savoring the moment. Hermione in his arms was always something to be treasured. The thought that he was nearly robbed of this made him furious. He'd get revenge on the Weasleys. Actually, they'd better hope it was Harry getting revenge. Hermione would be far more ruthless than he would.

* * *

That evening Dobby and Winky appeared with the diadem. Harry handed Hermione the sword and she destroyed it. Kreacher returned and reported back about the camps and the ministry's death squads. He'd also heard about a taboo. A quick look through some books thanks to the elves and Harry and Hermione began to formulate a plan. "You know, I don't get it. He wants this made up name but he doesn't want anyone to say it."

"He wants to be feared," Hermione said simply.

"Still can you imagine the history books? 'And this was the rise of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and he grew all-powerful' it's absurd. He's made everyone so afraid that they won't even say the bastard's name. I mean, think about it. Our first year at Hogwarts the Weasleys and everyone else pissed themselves silly because I 'dared' to say the name. That was 10 years after his death. And when I asked why it was a big deal they proclaimed that given all he's done to me how could I possibly say his name?"

"The wizarding world is full of sheep, Harry. You know this. That's why you went from hero to villain in two whispers or less. They believe everything they see and hear as fact. They don't think critically. Bumbles was the same. He heard that horcruxes must be destroyed. He never considered an alternate option. Once they find a 'fact' they give up looking for any other answer."

Harry looked at Hermione, "Do you think our knowing one another for seven years counts as dating?"

"In some aspects yes, why?"

"These past three weeks have been the best three weeks of my life," he answered, leaning in to kiss her, "and we're in a war so I think that's an acceptable reason for expediency." Harry knelt down on the ground, "Hermione I love you. I've loved you for such a long time but for a long, complicated list of reasons I couldn't act on it. Now I can and it's the greatest thing ever. So I'm asking you, Hermione Jean Granger, will you marry me?" Harry then proceeded to pull out a ring box, opening it to reveal an obscenely large diamond sitting on top of a platinum band.

Hermione stared at the ring, dumbfounded. When she looked in Harry's eyes she realized how scared he was of her answer being no and answered, "Yes Harry. Yes I'll marry you." Letting out a large 'whoop!' in joy Harry slid the ring onto her finger and kissed her, Hermione returning the kiss happily.

* * *

Later, when she was lying in bed with him after their celebration of their engagement, she looked at the ring, "It was made in the non-magical world wasn't it?"

"Yeah. On the last food run I put on a few glamours and went to pick out a ring from a jeweler. Kreacher couldn't be seen but he helped. At first I said it was too big but that diamond is a perfect diamond and Kreacher said that I owed you because of me being an arse. We then put loads of charms on that diamond. Can't be stolen, won't fall off, protections from curses and jinxes," Harry listed off several others until Hermione kissed him, "What?"

"I asked a simple question and you gave me a long drawn out answer. That's very _me_ to do. Now, fiancée of mine, we are naked and I want you again."

Harry's grin grew as she leaned in to kiss him again and Harry turned so that she was on her back, "I do like that idea. Any way I can help?"

"I'm sure you can think of something," she answered.

* * *

It was early December when the two teens decided to use the taboo to their advantage. They picked out a location that was deserted, and once there Harry called out, "Voldemort!" Within 15 seconds they were surrounded by Snatchers. Harry grinned, "Hello boys. I'm Harry Potter. You're dead."

From the time Harry first said Voldemort to the time the Snatchers were all lying on the ground dead was just under four minutes. Hermione looked at Harry, "We're getting really good with these spells."

"Yeah," Harry nodded, summoning their wands. "Should we do it again?"

"Sure," Hermione nodded, "I'd want one alive but we don't have any Veritaserum to compel them to speak."

Harry suddenly had an idea, "What if Dobby took us to Malfoy Manor?"

"Do you think he's ready to go back, even for us?"

"I think we can't worry about that. We need that wand to remove the final horcrux from me." She nodded in agreement and Harry called out Voldemort again. They moved into position. More Death Eaters would die tonight.

* * *

On Christmas Eve Harry and Hermione each took one of Dobby's hands and he Apparated them into the basement of Malfoy Manor. They saw Ollivander and Harry quietly called for Kreacher, "Get Ollivander back to our tent," Hermione told the house elf, "treat him for any injuries. Winky can get any potions you need. Stay with him Kreacher."

Kreacher nodded and Harry removed the chains, "We'll take care of you sir," Harry promised before Kreacher vanished with the old man. "Dobby can you come when we call you? We don't want you to be injured."

"Dobby wants to fights bad former masters," the elf said, a look of determination on his normally exuberant face.

"Okay but stay out of sight and leave if it's dangerous. Bellatrix is here."

Dobby nodded and they went on their way. Dobby indicated which rooms had people in them and Harry and Hermione took them out. Some escaped with just losing arms, others died. When they found Dolohov Harry felt his rage escape and soon the man who had once attacked Hermione was in several pieces. Hermione squeezed his arm and he smiled gratefully for her support and understanding.

When they found Draco he was with his aunt Bellatrix and his parents. Harry immediately disarmed Draco before banishing the little git's wand through Bellatrix's eye. She fell but Hermione was already on Lucius and Narcissa. Lucius fell, missing two arms and bleeding profusely, while Narcissa was rendered unconscious and obliviated heavily.

* * *

With Draco unharmed and standing in complete and utter shock the couple and Dobby left. "Why did you obliviate Narcissa?" Harry asked as they stripped off their clothes for Kreacher to scrub clean. His ability to remove blood stains was very useful.

"Draco's Christmas present. He's always taunted Neville about his parents. Well Daddy will bleed out and die and now Mummy Dearest won't even remember him. He stood there, helpless, as we destroyed his family. That will haunt him for a long time and I doubt he'll ever be able to celebrate Christmas again."

"You're so vindictive and vicious," Harry pulled his nude lover into a hug, "I love that."

She laughed and kissed him, "We should check on Ollivander." They put on some clothes and entered the other bedroom to see Winky caring for the old man, who was sleeping. Kreacher told them about his injuries before offering to make them a meal. They nodded and headed off to take a shower, telling him where the bloody clothes were.

* * *

Christmas morning the couple woke to see two hyperactive elves. "Mister Ollivander is going to be sleepings long times but Dobby and Kreacher has dones it."

"Done what?" Hermione asked.

"We knows how to makes muggle wedding rings better."

"Better?" She looked at Harry, curious.

"There's a special set of wedding rings that wizards and witches can get. They let you know if your partner is in danger. I thought it'd be useful when we liberate the internment camps. We can't go into the wizarding world so I decided we could get muggle rings and use those instead. I asked Dobby and Kreacher to research and see if we could do the same thing to these rings."

"That would be useful," Hermione admitted.

"I already bought the rings. Dobby and Kreacher are going to use elf magic to make the rings work. Thanks guys." He looked at Hermione, "You up for a trip to Gretna Green?"

"Most definitely," she smiled, leaning in to kiss him. "The Weasleys will be furious."

"Seems like a bonus to me," Harry grinned.

"Without a doubt."

* * *

On January 1rst Harry and Hermione made the trip to Gretna Green. Kreacher and Dobby found as much information as they could about the Muggleborn camps while they were gone. When they returned that evening the newlyweds were locked up in their bedroom. On Christmas day they'd got a new bed that was larger and from the sounds emanating from the room they were both quite happily using it. Dobby cast some spells to ensure that no one had to hear them before going with Kreacher to make them dinner.

When they emerged from the bedroom Harry and Hermione both looked quite pleased with themselves and one another. "Congratulations," Kreacher said.

"Thank you Kreacher. How is Mr. Ollivander?"

"He is awakes but not fully healed. He is on bed rests."

Hermione sat down after Harry pulled her chair out for her, "Thank you husband."

"You're welcome, wife," he grinned, leaning down to kiss her.

* * *

January 3rd was met with Harry and Hermione arriving in the early morning hours at a Muggleborn internment camp. Harry kissed his wife, "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," she responded. With a smile they drew their wands and entered the compound. The Death Eaters wouldn't know what hit them.

* * *

By February four internment camps had been liberated. The torturers and guards were given the same treatment that they had put the Muggleborns under. Harry and Hermione both took pleasure in that. Some of the Muggleborn were in pretty bad shape. With help from the house elves of Hogwarts the most seriously injured were taken to safety.

Each time they returned to their tent they passed out in exhaustion. Their training increased and so did their magical power. The day before Valentine's Day Harry slid on the Gaunt ring, wrapped the cloak around his shoulders, and drew the Elder wand, summoning a Dementor. It swooped down and actually bowed before Harry, which the Potters both found a little unnerving. "Inside of my scar is a piece of Tom Riddle's soul. I want you to remove it. Leave the rest of me intact and if you harm my Hermione I will destroy you."

The Dementor nodded, which again was bizarre, before it leaned down and its mouth opened over Harry's scar, sucking the piece out of Harry. Instantly Harry felt lighter and the Dementor bowed once more before vanishing from their sight. Harry turned to look at Hermione, who grinned at her husband in delight. Harry kissed her as they Apparated away.

Kreacher and Dobby served as messengers, reporting to them about the state of things. Ronald Weasley had apparently returned to Hogwarts and was badmouthing Harry and Hermione. They both found this amusing. Voldemort had been irate after their little visit to the Malfoys on Christmas Eve. After the liberation of the camps he was nearly apoplectic.

With some help from the ICW the Muggleborns that had been liberated were all ushered out of the country as refugees. Hermione and Harry then decided to bargain with the ICW. The Potters would destroy Voldemort, in exchange they wanted a ship so that they could travel the world on a long, long honeymoon and new banking options with a global wizarding bank, Katabisi. They agreed and the vampire Lazarus appeared as the British representative of Katabisi, which was run by vampires. Harry and Hermione signed the required forms and he promised that everything would be moved from any Gringotts vaults that belonged to them and placed in a vault of Katabisi's Switzerland branch. He also presented them with some gold to tide them over before leaving.

"Do you know how to sail?" Hermione asked Harry.

"No but we'll figure it out. I figured I could take lessons in the non-magical world," he shrugged, "I just want to sail on the seas gazing at my beautiful wife in a bikini."

"Smooth talker," she smiled, kissing him again. "Only if you wear a speedo."

"I can do that," he nodded.

* * *

With no horcruxes for Voldemort to hide behind and having severely crippled the bastard's forces, they decided in April that the time was nigh to take care of the rest. They were stronger than they'd ever have expected and were ready to take back Hogwarts from Voldemort and Snape. Kreacher, Dobby, and Winky all gathered the house elves to help. A wizard, a witch, and 439 house elves were ready for war. Harry, putting back on his cloak and the ring, called for the Dementors. With 78 of those they felt ready for batttle. Harry took the Dementors while Hermione took the elves. One thing that both teens found amusing was how Death Eaters didn't know how to cast a patronus. That would prove to be their downfall. Harry made a deal with the Dementors that once he took Voldemort's life they could have the dark lord's soul.

It was not unnoticed by any of the beings that these humans did not trust any other humans. They had firmly planted themselves alongside house elves and Dementors, which made both other species feel honored to have the respect and trust of these two powerful warriors. A shared kiss between the couple and they were off on their tasks.

* * *

Hermione entered the Great Hall with five Dementors and 20 house elves. She smiled, "Hello Head Death Eater Snape. I do hope you remember me? But don't call me Miss Granger. Like the wonderful Lily Evans before me I've become Mrs. Potter. Harry sends his regards. In fact our five friends here have been elected to give his regards to you and your friends," immediately three Dementors attacked, sucking out the souls of the Carrows and Snape while the other two stayed close to Hermione, guarding her along with the elves. She watched with a smile on her face as the three dropped. Her attention turned to the Slytherin table, "When you become a Death Eater you claim to eat death. Instead it would appear death ate them. Any more volunteers? Their appetites aren't as substantial as Ron Weasley but like him they never turn down a free meal."

Since her entrance no one had moved. She smiled, "Come on out Voldemort! It's your turn to die!" She turned to leave before looking back, "I suggest you all stay put. My husband and I are not eager to try and protect incompetent children while commanding our Dementor friends. Oh and if you attack me the elves and Dementors get to decide your punishment. Harry's orders."

The wand in Ginny Weasley's hand lowered and Hermione had a smug smirk on her face as she left. The elves warded the doors shut and they all headed outside again, their work done. No one would be breaking those wards. House elves were more powerful than any of the wizards in there knew.

She returned to Harry's side, "I said his name. Think they heard me?"

"Kreacher reported that they're near Hogsmeade. Shall we meet them?"

"Certainly," Hermione kissed her husband before looking at their allies, "Kreacher has obtained for us the contracts binding your species' to the Ministry of Magic and wizardkind. We're prepared to destroy them if you all want."

The elves all nodded eagerly and the Dementors bowed to Harry and Hermione. The couple drew their wands and destroyed both contracts. The elves immediately changed, becoming a foot taller and their appearances changing from large heads, bulbous eyes and long ears to shorter, pointed ears, smaller eyes, and smaller heads. They shifted to a more humanoid appearance. The Dementors also changed slightly, the ability to converse with Harry and Hermione being the biggest surprise. Their voices were rough and ancient sounding, but they spoke with relief and thanked them both.

"You can't go hunting for any and every human soul you want," Hermione said, "but I don't think that's your purpose anyway."

They shook their heads and one spoke, "We hunt on Death's orders. Your mate is the Master of Death, which makes you the Mistress of Death. We will obey your commands until you pass on."

"My Harry as the Grim Reaper," she chuckled before growing serious. "Some of his Death Eaters might be under the Imperius. We need the elves to recognize and remove them. The rest of us will take out the others."

The elves quickly gathered to organize which of them would fight and which of them would remove the ones under the Imperius curse. That didn't take long and soon Harry and Hermione were ready with their allies. They walked over the grounds and soon Kreacher and Dobby were at their sides as they stood and waited for Voldemort to come, "Voldemort! Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

The Dark Lord in question appeared soon and Harry looked at his wife, "No hesitation."

"I haven't hesitated yet have I?" Harry smiled and shook his head.

* * *

The battle was decidedly one-sided. The elves took over half of Voldemort's forces and then they struck. Elves, Dementors, and a teenage witch and wizard annihilated Voldemort's troops in less than 10 minutes. Voldemort's death was quick and, like so many video games, absurdly easy. "Is the final boss always being easy to defeat an actual thing?" Harry asked Hermione as a Dementor took the last piece of Voldemort's soul.

"It would appear so," she frowned. "It's rather a bit of a disappointment." Looking around at the bruised, broken, soulless bodies of the Death Eaters proved it wasn't particularly easy. Hermione had fired over two dozen reductos while relying on the shield charms of the house elves by her side to protect her from the more serious attacks. "I suppose many thought they could beat two teens and a whole bunch of beings they believed to be beneath them."

"Bigotry does tend to work against the bigot," Harry chuckled, "Well, it's over. I wonder when we get our ship."

"Soon I hope. We'll need a place to hide out until it's ready."

Harry smiled. They would have loads of free time. But first, they had some work to do, "Right, let's get all of you into the Great Hall. We have some announcements to make and could use some protection from the Weasleys."

Hermione looked at the Dementors, "Don't suck out anyone's soul unless we give permission. Like how I did with Snape and the Carrows." They agreed and the motley crew of warriors entered the building after Harry cast a spell for Voldemort's body to float behind them horizontally.

* * *

The Great Hall was agape as the Dementors flanked the Potters, house elves covering the head table as well as the doors to the hall. Hermione and Harry entered with Voldemort's dead body floating behind them. They placed the body on the table and sat down at it, both sighing from the exertion they'd just undergone. While they were very much in shape, it was exhausting casting so many spells. Harry smiled at his wife before leaning in to kiss her, "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," she smiled, affectionately running her hand through his hair. "Time for a speech?"

"I hate speeches," he grumbled.

Hermione leaned close, "You know, after all this is over with we get to go have some celebratory sex in our tent."

Immediately Harry perked up, ready to go. He stood and spoke, "I'd stand here and say it's over, but the truth is that it isn't over. So long as the wizarding world embraces bigotry, dark lords will emerge. So long as institutionalized racism exists, dark lords will emerge. Britain is a bastion of bigotry and won't survive without some serious overhauls. The truth of the matter is that British magical society would fall apart if only the purebloods remained. And now that that little speech is over, my lovely wife and I have a few announcements. First, we've been married for four months. We won't hold the lack of wedding presents against you," he chuckled at his own joke, "next, we discovered the methods of the imprisonment and binding of the house elves and Dementors. We have released both. If your families owned house elves or if you did, you don't anymore. They are now free agents and so I hope you get used to doing your own laundry." Two hexes bounced off of shields erected by the house elves and the Dementors looked at Harry hopefully. He glanced at Hermione, who shrugged. He nodded to Dobby and Kreacher, who levitated Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson into the air, "As the Master of Death I could have a Dementor suck out your souls easily. I am not Albus Dumbledore. I don't forgive and forget." Winky whispered to Harry the curses that had been fired and he looked at them, "No one gets to attack my bride and get away with it," he growled.

Hermione knew Harry better than she knew herself. So she immediately stood and ran a hand over his back, "Harry relax."

"I want to kill them Hermione."

"I know you do, that's why I'm telling you to relax," she leaned close to his ear, "Harry just alter the spell I used on Marietta. That's all you have to do."

He looked at her, "I like that idea."

"I'm glad," she smiled. He waved his wand and the word 'Brat' appeared on each forehead. That would piss them off.

* * *

In the coming days and weeks the ICW took over all of Wizarding Britain. Harry and Hermione, along with three house elves, boarded a ship and after tutorials they cast off, Harry finding that he could still contact the dementors even from afar. Wizarding Britain would never be the same. The ICW gave them a swift kick in the arse, dragging them into the 21rst century kicking and screaming all the way.


	9. Blessing from JKR

**A/N- In case you haven't heard, JKR has admitted in an interview with Emma Watson that Hermione should have wound up with Harry and that she paired Hermione and Ron for selfish reasons, ignoring how the story's overarching plot had progressed. She's apologized and this was cause for me...well just read this story because my reaction is within it. HARMONY IS CANON WOOHOOOOOOO! **

**Note- I paraphrased some of JKR's words, and I might have put some words in her mouth like about Ron. But since in the interview she is supposedly indicating that she wanted to kill Ron off at one point I think it's safe to say it. Also, apologies to anyone named Hugo or Rose but to me those are just not great names for kids. For the record, neither is Apple.**

**And no, I'm not too manly to admit to squealing like a giddy fanboy when I read it. **

* * *

Harry James Potter climbed up the steps of his former dormitory and collapsed on the bed on his stomach. The silence was pleasant. He was almost asleep when he heard the door open and a whispered, "Harry?"

He turned onto his side to see Hermione closing the door behind her and putting up spells for privacy and to prevent eavesdroppers. "Is something wrong Hermione? Are you hurt?"

She jumped onto the bed and slid into his arms, "No. I just wanted to be sure that my Harry is okay."

"I am," he promised, enjoying the familiar feel of his girlfriend in his arms. "I feel free now that that horcrux is gone. My head feels lighter and I just feel…happy? I think it's happy."

Hermione leaned up to kiss him and he returned it, "I'm glad Harry. You know that there are going to be some very upset people now that we're a couple."

"Well we're Gryffindors for a reason," he smiled.

She was about to respond when suddenly a middle-aged woman appeared in their room, "Harry, Hermione, I'm so sorry."

"Who are you?" Hermione asked, drawing her wand. Harry followed suit.

"The author. Of the books, not this fanfiction," she added. "I never should have tried to pair Hermione with Ron or Harry with Ginny. I made a mistake. Please forgive me."

Harry looked at Hermione, then at this woman in front of them, "Why would you pair me with Ginny? Or Ron with Hermione? Ron is really mean to Hermione all the time. That's been one constant throughout the books."

"It was how I wanted it to be, my own personal wish. How I initially saw the plot going."

"So you were going to stick me into a marriage that could easily have become abusive because of how much Ron resents anyone who does better than him as well as stick Harry with an obsessed fangirl-stalker?"

"Actually, I did," the author blushed.

Harry and Hermione both stared at her in shock. "But then why are we together now?"

"Well some wise writers and fans of the books (mostly the first four and not the last three) could see what I couldn't. Maybe they're a little more brash, crude, smutty, and tend to bash some of my favorite characters like Dumbledore but…well they had the courage to see what I refused to. And so they've written thousands of stories in which you two get together or are together. This is just one such one."

"So now Hermione and I being together is canon?"

"In short, yes. She never betrayed you, Harry. She took torture for you and still remained faithful. I'm not too full of myself to see that Ron would have sung like a canary. Please, forgive me. I know you both are probably quite angry with me but know that, now that I have some distance from the series, I can see where I went wrong and I am so sorry to have been so flippant with your happiness. You two were meant to be from the time you shoved a wand up that troll's nose in first year. And Hermione, you nearly blurted out that you loved him before he went to face down Voldemort."

Hermione looked at Harry, "Better late than never, I suppose. So long as I have Harry I suppose I can forgive you."

The author looked wistfully out the window. "Can you hear that? That is the sound of jubilant, vindicated Harry/Hermione shippers. They're jumping for joy, squealing with delight, and writing more fanfiction as I acknowledge that they are all right and that I was wrong." She looked at the couple who were gazing into one another's eyes, "I wish you both many happy years together. And I hope you don't name your children Albus Severus or Hugo or Rose."

"I was thinking Ares for a son," Hermione smiled, "I like Greek mythos."

"As do I," the author nodded, "as does the young man writing this story. Don't worry about the others' reactions. I will take care of that. Congratulations on stopping Voldemort, Harry. And take care of each other. Farewell."

The woman faded out until she vanished. Harry looked at Hermione, "We just got apologized to by the actual author of the series."

"We did," she nodded.

"You look really beautiful you know," he said, brushing a stray hair to the side, "and I'm suddenly not exhausted."

"And I do believe I have to express my gratitude that you're alive."

"Not to mention celebrate the defeat of Voldemort and the fact that we're meant to be together, even getting a blessing from the woman who created us." Hermione's response was a kiss as her hands moved to his belt.


End file.
